Captain Conspiracy

Conspiracies are all around us. There’s a 50% chance that statement is true…or is there?

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

Wait…so Dale Gribble was right about JFK’s assassination? #JFKAssassination #JFKFiles #JFK #ConspiracyTheories #conspiracy

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

Come on, guys. 1.7 million isn’t that mu…wait, 1.7 TRILLION!!! #government #toomuch

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

Xbox is run by a Dark Lord. How else can you explain that when I don’t have time to play for MONTHS and when I finally have a spare 1/2 hr to sneak some play in, there is always a 4 hr update required. #XboxSeriesX #conspiracy #dad #husbands

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

Uno was invented by an evil corporation. Why else would a quick game of Uno take 4 hours!!! #Uno #conspiracy #TWELTH

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

Terry Checked twice with the official to make sure he was on the line. Refs were paid so I wouldn’t win my fantasy playoff game #NFL #terry #conspiracy #Commanders #football

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

One of my favorite things is seeing Carlton David III cussing out the refs, and as he turns away you see the back of his helmet says “STOP HATE” #NFL #Bucs #Bengals #football

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

#MattRyan watching the game winning field goal #NFL #Vikings #VikingsColts #MattRyanCurse

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

3/3 I accept your thanks for saving Starwars. #StarWars #TheLastJedi #SaveStarwars

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

1/1 The Last Jedi never happened. In fact, none of the new trilogy happened. Rey is just having an intense spice(drug) trip. Her supplier is spice runner(dealer) Poe. #TheLastJedi #StarWars #conspiracy #movies #bad #TWELTH

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

2/2 That’s why her story is so eerily familiar to the first trilogy. She wanted to be like the heroes she grew up hearing about. She is simply and sadly an orphaned, depressed girl who wants to escape her reality. Hence the spice use. #StarWars #TheLastJedi #conspiracy #badmovie

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

#ConspiracyTheories #TWELTH #LOTR

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

#Jets #BillsMafia #NFL #football Mike White: “ I think my ribs are broken. Can I sit out?”
Coach Saleh:

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

Chick-fil-a employees would have simply prayed for their assailant. #Popeyes

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

I’m not saying I think #Disney is trying to brainwash your kids…but…well, I guess I am saying that. #DisneyPlus #Evil #TWELTH

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

What they don’t tell you about drugs! #Preach #conspiracy #drugs #TWELTH https://t.co/qO5ueN2YF5

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

Josh McDaniels after Baker throws game winning touchdown #Rams #RaidersNation #RaidersvsRams #football

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

Why is it a requirement that Disney+ knows what gender I am? #DisneyPlus #ConspiracyTheories #TWELTH #Disney #stop

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

I think my 14 year old son is actually capable of wiping his own butt. He’s simply pretending he’s not so I have to do it. I’m on to you, Josh. #dadlife #ConspiracyTheories #teenagers #TWELTH #parenting

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

Democrats and the media after Trumps recent comments #trump #media #democrats #politics #TWELTH

[Captain Conspiracy @ConspiracyPants]

You’re a fool if you think Russel Wilson is bad. He clearly just had his talent stolen by those small aliens from Space Jam and they gave it to Geno. #nfl #RussellWilson #conspiracy #TWELTH