🐝 oingo boingo 🐝 @constipatedlamb - Twitter Profile

2 days ago

Do you truly think Riot Games was going to make Brawlhalla? Do you honestly in your heart believe that Riot, who aspired but ultimately failed in cultivating a 2D tag fighter for both beginner and expert, would have not only been able to ideate & execute on a novel gameplay loop in the same way Brawlhalla does, but also lucky enough to have caught lightning in a bottle the same way Brawlhalla has with its playerbase? Are you truly suggesting that Riot's folly was not dumping tens of millions of dollars and manhours into pursuing Ubisoft's pure dumb luck? Because I find your reply equal parts vapid and pedantic. You haven't said anything, you've merely posted a screenshot and expected me to do all of the thinking for both of us. I'm simply not that charitable. Imagine if we were having a discussion about fire hydrants. Most are red...but sometimes they can be yellow as well! We can all (hopefully) agree that they're usually in the same sort of shape, but can have slightly different proportions or valves, depending on their use. Then, without provocation, someone yawps out: "Fire hydrants are also purple, and shaped like a Y!" While this technically CAN be correct, and I've no doubt there's one such fire hydrant that exists somewhere on the planet that you could possibly produce a picture of (as you have Brawlhalla's baffling playercount), I hope you would agree this person has ultimately said nothing, and has contributed to the conversation in a way that is not only unnecessary, but actively detrimental. It's a waste of everyone's time. Yes, fire hydrants can indeed come in many different colors. However, for the purposes of this conversation, we have ostensibly agreed to bind ourselves to a social code wherein we respect each others intelligence enough to not simply blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, whether it be technically "correct" or not. Based on Riot's track record, I think expecting them to somehow jackpot on a wildly successful platform fighter out of nowhere is ludicrous, especially considering the place Brawlhalla inhabits within the larger platform fighter community. Riot's MO, historically at least, seems to involve taking understood genre conventions and tweaking them in ways that make players feel powerful, in control. LoL is smooth DotA, Valorant is smooth CS, etc. The whirling cogs of gameplay are greased with countless hours of thoughtful design and player testing. They're masters of efficiency and innovation, certainly but they are NOT inventors. They are artisans, but not auteurs. I don't believe Riot could ever accomplish such a task, nor should they ever be expected to, and frankly, I don't believe YOU believe they could or would either. To indignantly drop a Brawlhalla player count screenshot into my replies like a sopping newborn calf straight from its mothers womb is distasteful and unbecoming. What am I meant to do with this, I wonder? Why is it here? And the true tragedy of it all is that I don't think you know, either. Your fickle will is tainted with a perverse need to be seen, and heard, but not understood. Well, here's your vindication: That fire hydrant IS purple! Very cool.

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@ConstipatedLamb

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