@[email protected]

Public Relations for the Gateway Arch Midwest Weather Control Point, a joint venture of the NPS and DARPA.
**THIS ACCOUNT HAS MOVED TO BLUESKY**

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

Ew

[Payton Malone @paytonmalonewx]

You're not the only thing sweating...look at the high blob of humidity in the Midwest. That's from corn sweat! Corn releases a lot of moisture in the summer and that means high humidity.

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

East-coast Advisory: LOL WOW.

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

Stay safe everyone, we’re still in the thick of it

͡ ❛ ͜ʖ ͡ ❛

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

This episode is slander we only protect, never attacc

https://t.co/NgcZFZ9qOn

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

Genuine question: How is it that we left this thing sitting outside for like 60 years and the finish still looks better than a damn Cybertruck

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

@rdmnow @DylanDoppelt Honestly that was always part of the original design. Kapoor said the quiet part out loud though, we couldn't believe it when the idiot named it "Cloud Gate".
We spent millions convincing everyone to call it The Bean instead.

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

@rdmnow @DylanDoppelt There's a test effort underway to link the Arch with The Bean, we can only turn it on once in a while though.

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

Fun Science Fact:

While the Arch can temporarily be charged via lightning strike for day-to-day operations, it's long-term power source is void negenergy .

Please do not observe the eclipse / power transfer without proper eye-protection, the void was not meant for human eyes.

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

Some useful tips for viewing the solar eclipse on Monday!

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

This is suspected to be because the weather control field is simply too gay to operate in those counties. Sorry guys, be better.

#weatherfacts

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

An astute citizen in Fenton pointed their camera east at the perfect moment and captured this rare photo of the Weather Control Field operating at full strength over Saint Louis.

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

Careful observation reveals the outer shell is very faint and unable to provide protection to Saint Charles and Jefferson counties.

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

#weatherfacts

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

#themoreyouknow

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

@LauraLoomer @NikkiHaley

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

Please stand at least twice this distance from The Apparatus when the weather control coils are charged to this degree, or weird stuff might happen to your water molecules.

(photo credit Bob Buser)

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

NWS out there drawin dicks on the weather maps

[@[email protected] @ControlMidwest]

Arch Weather Control Systems are operating nominally as of 1600CST