The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

I miss the days of being girl trapped and getting married on the swing set at recess. Simpler times

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

Life has to be rough for the girls that only have to put their insta name in their mutual bios in order to get matches

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

In order to save on costs, Utah freeways will now replace all construction traffic cones with protesters dressed in orange reflective gear.

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

All these girls posting about how their babies are getting “sooo big”. Please! I haven’t seen your kid in the gym once!

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

Remember all those times in the scriptures when God told the people it was their duty to get the prophets to repent or apologize for what they said? Oh wait...that’s never happened.

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

@TomBrady

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

My Plans: 2020:

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

@JacobWright10 You make me feel great all the time 😏

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

Basic White Girls be posting pictures of their dogs today with a caption like “So grateful I get to be your mom”

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

Can’t wait to see how many foreign missionaries that we reassigned stateside start their convos in the foreign language and then go “Oh sorry I just got back from (blank)”

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

Day 30 of quarantine in Alabama:

“Girl in my Come Follow Me class is starting to look real cute.”

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

Some middle class white dad didn’t have to flex on us so hard and start the saying “Hoppy Easter” but he did and the world has forever been changed.

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

For those of you unaware, President Nelson has invited us all, regardless of faith or denomination, to participate in a worldwide fast on Good Friday in order to combat Covid 19 alo- ok now that all the sinners have stopped reading, we revolt at dawn.

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

If I don’t text back it’s nothing personal. It just means I put our pictures in the “Your Future Baby” app and it just wouldn’t work out

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

That Conference session was amazing! Guess it’s time to switch the channel and watch the Final Fou....oh wait

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

If the young man or woman speaking after Elder Gong don’t start their talk by saying, “When I looked down and saw it was the Prophet calling me, I thought about not answering...but I’m glad I did and I’m happy to be here to give this talk” then I’m gonna be really disappointed

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

Can’t wait for a speaker in General Conference to get up and start their talk by saying:

“I would like to testify that God answers prayers because I was really nervous to give this talk and then they announced no one could come watch live and that was a huge blessing for me.”

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

2020 jumping out and saying “April fools” would be the only way it could redeem itself at this point

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

You know it’s been a rough year when no one’s April fool’s pranks surprise you

[The_Telestial_Latter_Day_Saint @CorbinJohn2]

I wanted to come up with a crazy April fools story, but 2020 already beat me to it