OJ Cosby

Parkour Enthusiast. Aspiring Blimp Owner. My name was pretty good when I was born.

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

@newsbreakApp The prophecies foretold this 480 yr old baby

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

I'm gonna haunt the lamest places when I die.

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

I'm a very graceful loser.

But let me win one time and I will embarrass myself and everyone who has ever loved me.

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

If your town has a Food Lion next to a Family Dollar, it's not doing so well.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Elon Musk reminds Me in some ways of a human being.

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

@neiltyson Let's try for three

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

@billuminatus @npfallon I saw a guy pee at a Clutch show at Cannery Row in Nashville. Great show though. Played Shogun. Clutch greatest living rock band. Feels sacrilegious not to acknowledge Motorhead or Clutch would be the G.O.A.T.

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

Man, I hate it when people refer to it as "THEIR tax dollars."

You got robbed, bro. Just let it go.

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

Air fryers and vegetarian meat won't make you happy.

Embarrassing.

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

Coffee Customer: Can I get an Italian Roast?

Barista: *in Mario voice* Eyyyy! Your mudder's a whore-a!

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

Some of the finest people you'll ever meet in this world are idiots.

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

If I was King Kong and the world needed me, I'd tell them they were SOL based on their treatment toward me in the past.

Know your worth.

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

We live in a world where people believe Joe Biden can hack an election, but if you say that birds aren't real at work you get called to HR for a meeting.

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

There are no winners in war.

Unless you count the people who survive and get all the resources afterward.

[Sobervated Paulo 🥃 @SobervatedConor]

Conor McGregor vs Khabib Nurmagomedov 2 Full Fight.

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

How did a recovering crack addict pillow salesman become the mouthpiece for an impeached reality tv show president?

Because in America, ANYTHING is possible!

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

It would be neat if someone actually purchased the car's extended warranty they've been trying to reach us about.

Except. Instead of getting an extended warranty, we just all woke up and realized this was all a big, crazy dream involving underlying fears of car trouble.

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

The new flex is putting your mask up when you get close to certain people and pulling it down as they walk away.

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

If you don't have Best or A1 in the name of your restaurant, you can keep your "Chinese" food.

[OJ Cosby @CosbyOj]

Back in my day, people settled their differences on the dance floor.

With guns.