lindsay (⌐■_■)

stanley cup champion

[lindsay (⌐■_■) @COSMICLINZ]

it’s always “crosby vs ovechkin” but what if it was “crosby AND ovechkin”

[GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15 @giveitupfor15]

GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15

[nyara @nyaraVT]

Replacing the rainbow with something even gayer.. the French

[ema @514baby]

can’t believe the word bussi is about to be carved into the stanley cup

[LizaMinnelliOutlives @LiZaOutlives]

Liza Minnelli has outlived 53 years of heartbreak. The NY Knicks have won the NBA championship.

[bug girl @buggirl]

in nature if a monkey hoarded 1 trillion bananas the other monkeys would beat that monkey to death and take his bananas

[ariel @donotdelay]

Being raised in an anti SpongeBob household is a lifelong social handicap and lowkey abusive

[Joseph 🕊️ @CaudilloXIV]

they’re putting something in the water that makes you pee

[Ellie Hall @ellievhall]

Same energy:

[Ash @newashcamp]

English is funny— we “park” in the “driveway” but “jack off” in the “company bathrooms”

[basil @blis5ful]

they should lower the retirement age to 23

[Pop Base @PopBase]

‘The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl’ was released 21 years ago today.

[jackass @jackassworld]

hello, i'm johnny knoxville and welcome to jackass at the west hollywood pride parade!

[Future Lesbian Housewife 👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏾🤝🏳️‍⚧️ @gaygirly4422]

Just remembered “they’re giving he-man pronouns”

[crust bucket @eeeosburn]

Saying im rubbing one out when scratching my eye

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

date: im so wet
me: [just sneezed while eating soup] im so sorry

[Jum @JesterJum]

Are the Amish allowed to motorboat their wife's boobies?

Or do they have to rowboat them?

[C O U R T N E Y @icourtneycries]

yeah, sex is great and all but have you heard an entire arena boo a shitty president with their whole chest?

[𝐄.🚩 @Wyd_eshuu]

why do "balls" imply toughness and "pussy" imply weakness when the slightest flick to the nuts sends a guy to his knees, yet a vagina can push out an entire being.?????