wasting

the less of me there is the less there is to hate
welcome to the narrative of my life falling apart

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

I know that as a cis gender woman I will never even come close to understanding gender dysphoria, the struggles of being trans/non-binary or the barriers you face, but please know that my account is a safe place and I accept you unconditionally for who you are ❤️

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

If I don't lose weight in the month I am legitimately going to kill myself.

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

J jokingly told me I needed to do some pilates so if I cease to exist y'all know why

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

These intrusive thoughts are really ruining me. I don't WANT to stab my partner. I don't WANT to give my patient their med incorrectly. I don't WANT to drive into oncoming traffic. I'm so tired.

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

I don't want to be doing this. I either want to be past it, or be dead

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

tfw you remember on the second last bite of your binge you could have just c&s 🤡

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

I need a reason not to die tonight

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

We went back into the red zone today so I'm hoping the gym will open 🥺🥺

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

Or he's laughing because he knows I have no self control and this will never work,, hmm

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

Told J my diet starts tomorrow. He laughed and offered me a donut,,, smh

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

Not only is this terrible because he knows my ED past so I can't restrict, but also because he doesn't seem to gaf about my weight and encourages me to eat all the time , ffs

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

My weight is pathetic and my body is disgusting. This meal plan better work otherwise I may kms

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

@toohightodie_ Thank you for responding, I think my hunger/binging cues are confused and I'm going to make more tea, I appreciate you taking to time to respond 💛

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

Okay I've purged three times in the last HOUR... Why do I keep EATING?!

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

@toohightodie_ Honestly idek anymore. I feel like I need to eat less bc I eat more than he does, but he doesn't eat nearly enough so I don't know. I truly don't need more food rn but the b/p urge days so, so it's hard.

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

@toohightodie_ I'm working on my tea and he's eating pizza so I'm hoping everything works out. 💛 thank you for your support 💜

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

Like, I haven't even lost weight? If anything I've gained. I'm just stuck in this stupid cycle

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

For someone who made a new years resolution to reduce ED habits, I've purged more days than I haven't.

[wasting @Craving_tinyy]

I somehow ended up back in like 2015 pro/hardcore th1nspo twt and I'm not ok