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The year is 2021. You drive to your friend's birthday party and on the way a virgin Ford F150 drives into the side of your TESLA CYBERTRUCK™ - It crumples like paper. You scoff as you drive off with your framed portrait of Elon Musk, not a rearview mirror in sight. No survivors.
*sees woman*
My jaw drops to the floor, my eyes extend at a velocity never before seen, I take out a boxing glove and hit myself with it 17 times, pant like a dog, and yell AOOOOGA AOOOOGA then turn to the audience and say in 1930’s New York accent “HOT MAMA, now that’s a dame!”
IMAGINE:
YOU ARE A CHILD DRESSED UP FOR HALLOWEEN. YOU KNOCK AT MY DOOR AND DECLARE, “TRICK OR TREAT!” I REPLY SAYING, “TRICK.” YOU ARE CONFUSED. HUNDREDS OF RATS FLOOD OUT OF MY HOUSE. YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THEM. YOU HAVE THE PLAGUE
So...my Dad died today & honestly I’m not sure how to feel. I’m sad, but I’m also happy 4 all the great times we had together. We’d roast each other like homies more than Father & Son, and I really liked that. He was my best friend & my idol.
Love U Dad...I’ll miss u.
- J.D.