Will Frickn Ferrell

Hi, I'm crazy Will Frickn Ferrell. While not the real Will Ferrell I tweet funny shite that makes people pee their pants multiple times daily.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

Identical twins are weird. Only one of them should be allowed out in public at a time.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

Hey bands, quit telling us to make some noise. That's your job.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it very often.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

Do couples with joint email accounts realize how cheap email accounts are these days?

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

Every doctor not wearing scrubs is an idiot. You have a free pass to wear pajamas ALL THE TIME.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

My doctor says he thinks I'm having a mid-life crisis. I was so surprised I nearly fell off my skateboard.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you're supposed to be doing something else.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

Zombies eat brains. You're safe.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

Birthdays are a great time to discover how many of your Facebook friends are people you've never even heard of.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

The only acceptable way to answer a call while wearing a bluetooth headset is, "Captain Bullshit here, GO!"

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

My house isn't messy. It's custom designed by a three year old.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

Off Course I talk to myself... Sometimes I need expert advice!

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

Odd how all the 'intelligent life finding instruments' are pointed away from earth.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

If there was a drug I liked even half as much as my dog likes treats, I would overdose in about four seconds.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

Odd how all the 'intelligent life finding instruments' are pointed away from earth.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

When she asks me, "What do I think?" I think I really should have been listening.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

Don't even talk to me until I've Instagrammed my coffee.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

When God closes a door, He usually makes sure my fingers are in it.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

In addition to the "like" button, Facebook should also have a "liked, while shitting" button to keep things in perspective.

[Will Frickn Ferrell @CrazyFerrell]

If you've driven a UPS truck, you've delivered a dildo.