carly rae sremmurd

no cussin', no fussin'

[carly rae sremmurd @Creeek13]

#blessed

[carly rae sremmurd @Creeek13]

Begging the no texts girl for texts

[carly rae sremmurd @Creeek13]

YouTube fed me an Aflac commercial in Spanish and it had never even crossed my mind they would use a different voice actor for the duck, beauty in everything

[carly rae sremmurd @Creeek13]

A beautiful woman briefly told me about a book she enjoyed and I bought it the first moment I was able to open my phone, it’s a miracle I haven’t gotten swept up in a cult or pyramid scheme by now

[hil @plume__]

panicked spelling out an insurance code on the phone and said “u as in… useless” and when the receptionist read it back to me she chose umbrella. that works too

[carly rae sremmurd @Creeek13]

World can be so cruel (single pillow case stuck under fitted sheet on bed) and yet so sweet (m&m mcflurry)

[carly rae sremmurd @Creeek13]

Girl I like sent a “sorry, forgot to respond” 2 days later :(

She texted me back :)

[carly rae sremmurd @Creeek13]

Thought Oscar and I were having a cute moment then he rolled over and frew up down the side of the couch, c’est la vie and whatnot

[carly rae sremmurd @Creeek13]

Honked at a cop not using his turn signal then found the perfect parking spot to get tacos #karma #blessedneverstressed

[Will Sennett @Senn_Spud]

Soccer I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty sweaty ruined one

[carly rae sremmurd @Creeek13]

REVISION:

[carly rae sremmurd @Creeek13]

Half a gummy taken and ready to get angry

[carly rae sremmurd @Creeek13]

Season 4 finale

[carly rae sremmurd @Creeek13]

Minor delay but #ColumboSummer starts now

[carly rae sremmurd @Creeek13]

My next move is to get deeply into Columbo in a concerning, all-consuming manner

[carly rae sremmurd @Creeek13]

They had Johnny Cash playing the role of a p*dophile and it was merely background character development in his storyline

[nathan @nathanrobii]

yeah brotha i got lots of change

[JP @jpbrammer]

the phrase "lipstick on a pig" has always inspired a deep sadness in me. I think of the pig, looking forward to her big night out, and I bring myself to the verge of tears.

[carly rae sremmurd @Creeek13]

Splurged for the spa treatment for Oscar at doggie daycare and now he’s acting brand new 😒

[meredith 🍉 @dietz_meredith]

it’s so easy to spot AI writing bc it always sounds like it was written by a fedora

[carly rae sremmurd @Creeek13]

I’ve had Fergie’s “Clumsy” stuck in my head all day. Not a complaint to be clear, just befuddled