Kelley Croix

I am a writer.

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@realDonaldTrump You’re going down in flames 🔥

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@Faitelson_ESPN Niño clarividente, previendo el silenciador vergazo que te metería el vengador de Tepito.

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@DanRather I was thinking what a privileged era we live in where something I type might actually be read by Dan Rather.

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@willchamberlain You went to law school to come up with this bullshit stats? You could’ve done with 60 days at Trump U.

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@UberFacts Red Hand Gang

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@briantylercohen Is this the asshole that’s been holding up my Netflix DVDs? Long fucking 10 years I tell you.

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@chipfranklin He IS on the street right now

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@BorisAlonso77 Llame a estos maes. Ellos me hicieron toda la vuelta por 115mil. Uno siempre tiene que hacer la vuelta de correos de CR, pero el resto estos maes se lo ponen fácil a uno. https://t.co/yVHYGIRhVC

[memory lane @bitchiwas999]

Actors and their stunt double

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@joncoopertweets One of your most creative moments. 👏🏼

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@StephenKing Once a thing of evil, always a thing of evil.

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@charliekirk11 Yes. The problem is your IQ.

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@donlemon happy birthday patriot.

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@Dan_Fogelman how have I lived without #ThisIsUs in my life is a mystery to me, and I’m only starting S2. Thank you Dan.

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@DavMicRot U had me at more.

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@tedcruz I’m just here for the ratio.

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@willchamberlain You. Oh wait, do wannabes count?

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@AlbinoVargasB Castigo recibe su bigote, con su mal aliento.

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

I quit drinking 12 years ago today. Can I get some love from Twitter world?

It works if you work it.

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@RepLeeZeldin You misspelled Led Zeppelin

[Kelley Croix @CroixKelley]

@Faitelson_ESPN @herculezg Madrazo hermoso en tus cachetes.