Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧

I like dinosaur socks 🦕 🦖 Am described as a big, lanky Smurf by some. I live in Scotland, so for legal reasons, I claim to be a comedian.

[Stuart @StuartMaggs]

The hidden tax measure in the Budget is huge for people paying tax under self-assessment - sole traders, partners, landlords, retired investors.

For 6th April 2028-29, you currently pay 50% of your income tax late in the tax year in question (in January 2029), 50% just after the year end (in July 2029) with any make-up payment in January 2030.

Under the new proposals you will pay your tax perhaps monthly or quarterly (TBC) from April 2029 onwards. A rough analysis suggests the impact is to draw about 50% of your tax bill forward, a huge cashflow boost to HMRC and a significant funding issue for the self-employed.

The Treasury recognises this, and expects to raise £1.3bn of additional tax in 29/30 as a result of this change.

The cashflow impact of the accelerated charge will send some businesses to the wall.

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

@logic_on_sea I may try having an accident next time and see what happens…

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

My first foray into making chicken liver pate has been a resounding success! No photos as I have had comments on my presentation skills on here, but I used the Jacques Pépin recipe. It is now being saved for future use.

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

@RanTeeThree And then you have to work in one of the listed hellholes.

[Steve Loftus @LoftusSteve]

FYI if you are an Octopus customer you can log in online and change your direct debit to whatever you want.

If you think it's too high or you have a large credit built up you can drop it down.

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

@TinkerB1985 Tbh, rules like that make zero difference to these people. It’s virtually the same as the judge giving a slap on the wrist.

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

I feel a deep, burning rage within me, right now.

[PATRIOTS OF BRITAIN @POB4LIFE]

"DEPRAVED" MAN WHO BEAT ROMANIAN SHEPHERD TO DEATH JAILED FOR 10 MONTHS

A man who beat his dog so severely that he had to be put to sleep has been banned from owning or keeping any dog for fifteen years.

He was also jailed for 10 months for animal offences.

Terry Thurling, from Stirling, pled guilty to striking his dog, a three-year-old Romanian Shepherd named Griffin. The object was believed to be a golf club. He used excessive force several times which fractured the dog’s skull.

The dog was left with such severe injuries to the body, causing pain and suffering both physically and mentally that he had to be put to sleep.

Thurling was sentenced at Stirling Sheriff Court on Wednesday 15 January.

A Scottish SPCA Inspector said: “On that day Thurling phoned the dog wardens to tell them he had hit his dog and demanded they take the dog away. When the Dog Warden arrived, they found the dog with blood all over his head. They contacted us and we arranged to meet them at a local vet as soon as possible.

“He had a swollen head and eyes, with the third eyelid coming across the eye on the right-hand side. There was blood on the top of the head and lumps on his back. The dog appeared in reasonable body condition other than the injuries and was calm and docile.

“The dog who was quiet but responsive and showed no signs of aggression during the handling procedure. There was fresh blood over the skull and bridge of his nose and covering his muzzle. There was extensive painful swelling over the top of his skull.

“The vet concluded that the dog was hit over the top of the head at least six times with enough force to fracture its skull – he had obviously been subjected to unnecessary suffering.

“A decision was made for the dog to be euthanized on welfare grounds due to the extent of his injuries.

“We are pleased at the sentencing today. Griffin had suffered extensively both physically and mentally at the hands of Thurling and this man should never be allowed to own animals again.”

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

@Politicalfunn Tbh, I’ll be mightily fucked off if my “final meal” something somewhat substandard.

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

We live near Faslane. No suffering here, just bang, dead.

[Lady S @Politicalfunn]

Stockpile all you want, you'll have on average about 6 weeks more than everyone else. 6 weeks longer of suffering waiting for inevitable death from nuclear poisoning.

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

@RanTeeThree Agreed

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

@TinkerB1985 TBF, I did until I realised there was a pattern. Then I started clicking into their bio and discovered either Nigeria or “Africa”

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

@TheNelsonAgain The best way to go.

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

@Little_G2 @RanTeeThree So satisfying! I feel like a domestic goddess whilst phoning it in.

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

@ianwebb70sdey @DavidPGCSE Bang, ooh pretty, dead. I’m all for that.

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

@rumandcoffee Greenpeace?

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

@A_Fine_Rosey Absolutely. Immediately need to start raising the tax bands. Also, stop raising the bloody minimum wage! Let the market dictate.

[Matt Rise @A_Fine_Rosey]

When one can have kids and work part time in a shop on minimum wage plus benefits to earn more than a degree qualified teacher then something is going very wrong.

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

@JockAyeTheNoo I will never not love seeing full tummies upside down.

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

@WoodlandNomad No, no, we absolutely wouldn’t think that of you. You would be doing God’s work.

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

Years ago a friend of mine (male) was home when the social services turned up to check baby was fine. Refused to do it as his wife had gone out, obviously assuming dad could handle it. Apparently not. They rearranged and insisted she was there.

[Reddit Lies @reddit_lies]

If a mother was asked "Did dad write down his symptoms or is he available by phone so we can get his medical history?" by medical staff it would be national headlines.

But since it was a father, Reddit mods just delete it and move on.

[Lady Zen 🇿🇦🇬🇧 @CSG1973]

Berry!

[No Context Brits @NoContextBrits]

Should Matt Betty be the next James Bond?

[Matt Rise @A_Fine_Rosey]

Worst civil servant job creation scheme ever. Every £100 will take £900 of government funds.