☀️carnival☀️touchinbutts☀️

women's health rn. oxytocin fangirl. someone's mom.

i don't know how to explain to you that you should care about other people.

[☀️carnival☀️touchinbutts☀️ @CTheartsCLE]

baseball stats be like "HE'S THE FIRST BATTER BORN ON A TUESDAY IN THE SECOND HALF OF 1993 TO HIT THREE FOUL BALLS IN A ROW OFF A RIGHT HANDED PITCHER WHO SAYS THEY LOVE THE COLOR BLUE BUT REALLY LOVES YELLOW BEST AND HASN'T CALLED HIS MOTHER IN A MONTH"

fucking wild.

[Raffi Cavoukian 🇨🇦 @Raffi_RC]

if any of my US fans voted for fascism, their love of my songs failed them. they didn’t hear the music. 💔

#FightFascism #belugagrads

[McNeil @REFLOG18]

Consult your doctor to see if your heart is healthy enough for postseason baseball.

[☀️carnival☀️touchinbutts☀️ @CTheartsCLE]

omg also:

NOT THE SAME SLEEPING POSITION! 😭❤️

[☀️carnival☀️touchinbutts☀️ @CTheartsCLE]

adding to album "pictures that can probably make you pregnant"

[☀️carnival☀️touchinbutts☀️ @CTheartsCLE]

and anotha one:

[Mike Redmond @theredmond]

God: Jessica, we’d like you to meet our new angel.

Jessica Walters: Who is it?

Martin Mull: *takes off halo* Gene Parmesan, how you doing?

Jessica: AAHHHHHH!!!

[☀️carnival☀️touchinbutts☀️ @CTheartsCLE]

always thinking about how my child's first baseball game--just like my first baseball game nearly 20 years ago--is going to be a @CleGuardians game because the year of our lord 2024 is bringing my boys to Milwaukee. #CLE

[☀️carnival☀️touchinbutts☀️ @CTheartsCLE]

not only are long eyelashes wasted on men, they are even further wasted on INFANT men.

[Jenni @hashjenni]

periods, pregnancy, menopause...
while men just.. live their lives? i don't get it

[☀️carnival☀️touchinbutts☀️ @CTheartsCLE]

@cehenley HOTTTTTTTTTT!!! 🔥🔥🔥 Amazing job!!!!!

[Joshin and Jokien @joshcarlosjosh]

June 27 is really asking us "would you rather be alone in your living room with two old men or The Bear?"

[Mark Lewis, MD, FASCO @marklewismd]

It’s giving AMA

[Eli Walsh @walsh_eli]

i’m going to become the joker

[megan.⚡️ @megantisocial]

my photo of the breathtaking northern lights.

[☀️carnival☀️touchinbutts☀️ @CTheartsCLE]

apple & tree

[mr. binch @discocowboyhat]

happy short king week (5/6-5/10) to those who celebrate!!!

[☀️carnival☀️touchinbutts☀️ @CTheartsCLE]

I've had a dad claim that he unhooked fetal monitoring on my patient to see how long it would take us to come in. We reviewed the strip, he never unhooked it. He also told us the baby was in distress and we didn't care because of the high HR...of 140. We hate a man.

[RNSuperHero @RNSuperHero]

Here’s a new one. Patients family unhooked the patients heart monitor to time how long it would take staff to fix it 🥴

[☀️carnival☀️touchinbutts☀️ @CTheartsCLE]

Also in this instance I knew I was fine, which meant my baby wasn't. 🙃

Just a really fun memory that somehow didn't become birth trauma!

[☀️carnival☀️touchinbutts☀️ @CTheartsCLE]

I'm remembering bits and pieces of my crash csection every so often and today the bit/piece was that when my friend asked anesthesia if she was okay to do my abdominal prep, the surgeon answered instead and said

[☀️carnival☀️touchinbutts☀️ @CTheartsCLE]

"well someone's going to have to do it fast or we'll have to splash her". In this instance, splashing means that the situation has become too dire for either mom or baby that the normal sterile prep for the belly can't be used and a literal bottle of iodine is dumped on instead.