Matthew Cullinan

TV/Film Producer and Writer, High School Poet, Amateur botanist. All thoughts belong to Kal'dun the Goat Lord. Jk my thoughts belong to Alan Alda.

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

@bbjerf He retired as he lived…terrible at his job.

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

@pleatees @TheExtraInch @bbjerf 😂

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

@Focusedtotality What’s wrong with you

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

Parents will disown you if you trust the gps directions over their turn-by-turn “shortcuts.”

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

Can confirm.

[Jim Fagan @JamesFagan]

Overheard my daughter telling her virtual kindergarten teacher why she logged into the wrong class time: "My dad is the only one here right now and he doesn't understand when to do anything."

The truth hurts.

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

Wow, can’t believe it’s been one year since I’ve been to a Benihana.

[Kamala Harris @KamalaHarris]

While I may be the first woman in this office, I will not be the last—because every little girl watching tonight sees that this is a country of possibilities.

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

@JamesFagan You cannot run from Duo. You cannot hide. Duo will get you.

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

Fuck this

https://t.co/hsO2aaCOOO

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

@jerrysaltz Achy Goldfish

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

A boy becomes a man when he gets his first extremely long eyebrow hair.

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

@rilaws Nothing says the holidays like a Bath & Bodyworks Fine Fragance under the tree

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

Love the new ending of @starwars Return of the Jedi on @disneyplus

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

Fucking llamas man

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

My new thing is watching people make fly fishing lures in youtube

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

I just read the entire wikipedia page for Grumpy Old Men so today is going great.

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

I mean, like, I guess good for them? They can resell them for $30 someday.

[Josh Dawsey @jdawsey1]

President Trump is signing bibles for volunteers and survivors at a Baptist church in Alabama.

[Matthew Cullinan @Culliberger]

Any person running for Congress on a platform that Nickleback is good should not only be ineligible to hold higher office but should also be shot from a canon back to Canada.