CT

Jack of all trades, master of some.

[CT @CynicalTurt]

Every Zelda game ever on the Switch please and thank you

[CT @CynicalTurt]

Today’s the day, folks.

[CT @CynicalTurt]

@molltiply Justkeeptellingyourselfthat

[CT @CynicalTurt]

On behalf of everyone trying to buy a used truck, STOP PUTTING LIFT KITS ON YOUR OTHERWISE DECENT VEHICLE. YOU MAY THINK YOU ADDED VALUE BECAUSE YOU SPENT MONEY ON IT BUT LOADING IT FULL OF TNT AND BLOWING IT SKY HIGH IS PROBABLY LESS EXPENSIVE AND IT ACHIEVES THE SAME RESULT.

[CT @CynicalTurt]

More shopscapades 👌🏻

https://t.co/7WkjkQSHpT

[CT @CynicalTurt]

@molltiply Totally would but I haven’t picked the game up since I started reeling in eggs instead of fish, gonna wait for that little unnatural disaster to subside.

[CT @CynicalTurt]

I made a video for the woodworking shop I operate, you should give it a watch, kill some of that quarantine time.

https://t.co/DApU5ZLBQ7

[CT @CynicalTurt]

I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason “goodnight” is one word and “good morning” is two is because it takes more effort to start a day than to end one.

[CT @CynicalTurt]

“Too bad,
So sad,
Please don’t
Tell dad”
- every older sibling ever

[CT @CynicalTurt]

Spent today moving a 4 ton piece of equipment into the woodshop I co-own and celebrated getting it in place by going for a gun ammo and beer run with the guys who helped make today’s move possible. Basically, I am more American than you.

[CT @CynicalTurt]

Follow up: if the flavor that the sawdust added made the beer taste better, you either need better beer or you need to tell me what species of wood you’re working with right now, cowboy.

[CT @CynicalTurt]

Opinion: you’re not a real woodworker until you’ve sipped the beer in your hand and tasted sawdust.

[CT @CynicalTurt]

Were the people who came up with goose feather pillows aware that opposite of the soft feather plume is a sharp end that can find its way through a pillowcase and, oh, I don’t know, STAB YOU IN THE EYE WHILE YOU SLEEP??

[CT @CynicalTurt]

I hate being told to smile for photos. I don’t normally like photos being taken of me at all but staging an emotion in an orchestrated scene has to be the most backwards way to handle capturing a moment. Candidness is key in photographs of people.

[CT @CynicalTurt]

@molltiply

[CT @CynicalTurt]

Hey guys, looks like water’s cancelled.

[CT @CynicalTurt]

@molltiply

[CT @CynicalTurt]

So the @jimmyjohns “unwich” basically just proved to me that true joy while on keto is possible.

[CT @CynicalTurt]

I could single-handedly keep Lay’s “All Dressed” chips in circulation.