being a 5’8 woman trying to sit on a man’s lap is humiliating i feel like one of those big ass dogs that hasn’t figured out it isn’t a puppy anymore yet
Call me dusty, call me crusty, but I will be reminiscing on my Snapchat memories from the golden era of 2015-2018 to my kids to the point they are cradled to sleep by the song Broccoli
“We met at the pool last summer!” respectfully I am blasted off every time I’m at that pool so it is nice to meet you for the first time ever today my apologies not very demure or mindful of me