PaternityFraternity

Blessing your life with REALLY BAD dad jokes and typical dad moves.

[PaternityFraternity @DaddJokes]

What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller 😂😂

[PaternityFraternity @DaddJokes]

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh??
Ten-tickles!! 😂😂😂

[PaternityFraternity @DaddJokes]

People are still trying to convince Justin Bieber is a boy but I'm not buying it!

[PaternityFraternity @DaddJokes]

2 guys walked in to a bar.. The third one ducked!

[PaternityFraternity @DaddJokes]

You guys think having homework is bad! Imagine working 9 to 5 and then coming home and having to deal with my wife!!

[PaternityFraternity @DaddJokes]

Kid: What does love feel like?
Mom: Its the funny feeling in your stomach when you like someone Dad: I get the same feeling when I have gas!

[PaternityFraternity @DaddJokes]

I feel like dads are like "What's the most obnoxious way I can wake up my kids today??"

[PaternityFraternity @DaddJokes]

Me and the little critters are besties! A lot of people think they are gross, but I say they are just misunderstood..
Get it? Under-stood!

[PaternityFraternity @DaddJokes]

I'm still trying to figure out if this dab dance is an actual thing or if it's just a sly way to check if your armpits smell.

[PaternityFraternity @DaddJokes]

I haven't said a word to my wife in almost 18 months. She just hates it when I interrupt her! 💁🏼

[PaternityFraternity @DaddJokes]

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a-salted..

[fall out boydyke @WereAllFractal]

Hey guys you want to see some funny jokes? You should follow @DaddJokes

[PaternityFraternity @DaddJokes]

Did you hear about the new restaurant in the moon? I heard the food great but there's no atmosphere!

[PaternityFraternity @DaddJokes]

I went to a zoo the other day but there was only one dog in it.
It was a Shitzu!

[PaternityFraternity @DaddJokes]

My wedding was so beautiful even the cake was in tiers!

[PaternityFraternity @DaddJokes]

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don't think it's feline well.

[PaternityFraternity @DaddJokes]

What do you call a frog who parks illegally?
-Toad