Mike

World's #1 greatest most successful dad. Writer, wrasslin, music, horror, comics.

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

@iFailDW @davemeltzerWON

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

@MichaelsMMX @davemeltzerWON Austin vs Rock at Mania 17 did an insane 1.04 million ppv buys.

After the terrible Austin heel turn, Mania 18 still managed 0.88 million.

After his walkout and public scolding from Vince, Austin vs Rock at Mania 19 only did 0.56 million.

They killed the character.

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

@lesaboteur87 The 180 degree rule is for pussies. Oliver Megaton puts the camera where Oliver Megaton pleases!

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

@megannn_lynne It is tho. You were right to say it.

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

@ThatsOurMongo Hey buddy, Kane deserves a "Top 100 moves of" video just as much as any other wrestler! It's not my fault that the best part of every Kane match is when he gets the fuck out of the ring!

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

@celinedionysus_ Did you work at the downtown wendys sometime around 04-06ish? Or frequent the Ford Plant? Trying to figure out where I recognize you from.

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

@nicklopiccolo @davemeltzerWON "Hi Nick, it's Jade. ...Jade Cargill. ...Your client. I was just wondering if you had heard anything about that Storm part in the Xmen reboot? Or any bit parts in DreamWorks movies?"

"Not now, Judy.! I've been up for 36 hours replying to Meltzer and Otis Stinktrigger tweets!"

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

White boys in tubs love to say shit like "Rub-a-dub-dub!"

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

Straight up murdering the boys in the group chat:

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

They gotta make a Final Destination where death makes all the deaths look like auto-erotic asphyxiation deaths instead of accidents.

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

What the fuck do you mean Dracula's fangs don't work like two little straws that he can suck the blood through?

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

Only God can Judge Reinhold

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

My toxic trait is that I turn my baseball hat backwards like Ash Ketchum and shout "Beautiful lady, you're mine!" right before I'm about to cum.

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

Touch grass? No! Disgusting! That's where all the bugs take their pisses and shits!

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

I just read a post-Watergate issue of Captain America where the leader of the evil org is revealed to be Nixon, who turned to crime because pesky laws ruined his previous play for power. He then shoots himself in the head. Comics rock.

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

Met a log driver on tinder and he burled down and down white water until I was pleased completely.

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

Reminder to all that McDonalds is a fast food burger restaurant and is in no way affiliated with John A Macdonald! Do not hire them to run your country or do a genocide! They will only send McNuggets!

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

Getting all worked up because tiktok teens are discovering Bill Paxton through movies like Aliens and Twister and not from his new wave band Martini Ranch and their music video for "Reach"

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

Life is all about taking time to enjoy the little pleasures. Like suckling on the hellish elixir known as human bloode, for example.

[Mike @Daddy_bodaduce]

I never fight at the racetrack because I'm too busy saying things like "Somebody's in a hurry" "Where's the fire?" or "That guy must be late for lunch" every single time a car passes by.