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Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
The Best Dad Jokes on Twitter.
Dad
Joined September 2019
248
Following
364
Followers
1.1K
Posts
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
My doctor told me that my body has completely run out of magnesium. I was like 0mg
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
There's a fine line between the numerator and the denominator. It's a shame only a fraction of the people will find this funny.
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
Did you hear about the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground? It was a knot-for-profit.
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lense making machine? He made a spectacle of himself.
Who to follow
Rameses Niblick III
@TheLittleWaster
I'll vote for any party that'll keep Reform out.
Jason Mauck
@jasonmauck1
Farmer | Collaborator | Keynote Speaker |
[email protected]
#farmweird
Bayou Music Center
@bayoumusiccntr
Great concerts & downtown location! Follow us for event updates, onsale dates, tickets & more!
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
Have you ever tried archery blindfolded? You don’t know what you’re missing
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
When the aliens abducted me, they made me wash my hands, eat vegetables and clean the room they put me in… Turns out I was on the mothership.
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
Everyone has heard of Count Dooku, the character from Star Wars. But his wife Sue—she’s quite a puzzle to figure out.
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
What does D.N.A stand for? National Dyslexia Association
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
I saw a television advertised in a shop window with a sign that said: "stuck on maximum volume, only $5." I thought to myself, I can’t turn that down.
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
I think my wife has been putting glue all over my firearms. She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
Someone broke into my garage last night and stole my limbo stick. Seriously how low can you go?
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
My friend said my clothes are gay! Well, they did come out of the closet this morning.
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
My girlfriend said a small penis isn’t a big deal I still wish she didn’t have one
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
Why can't Mexicans be firefighters? They can't tell Jose from Hose B.
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
What is a cow's favourite Disney princess? Moo-lan
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
Where did Noah store his bees? In the ark hives
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
Our electricity company has just disconnected us. Now we are powerless to do anything about it.
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
I created a website for orphans It doesn't have a homepage yet
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
Alcoholics don't run in my family. They drive.
Dad Joke Button
@DadJokeButton
about 2 years ago
I hate when people say they are speaking on behalf on everyone And I’m sure everybody agrees with me
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