Dad Jokes

I tell the best worst jokes around.

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

What's the difference between your pay check and your penis?

You don't have to convince your wife to blow your paycheck.

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

What do you call a seagull that flys over the bay?

A bagel.

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

Opinions are like assholes.... They stink and everyone's got one. #drunkdadtweet

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

Daddy loves Heineken

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

What did the 0 say to the 8?

Nice belt.

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

A 40 year old with money is NOT old.

A 40 year old without money IS old

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

I gave all my dead batteries away today...

Free of charge.

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

How do you organize a space party?

You planet.

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

What's Forest Gump's Facebook password?

1forest1

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

Velcro... What a rip-off!!

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

I was thinking about moving to Moscow but there is no point Russian into things

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

Every dads dream

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

A computer once beat me at chess... But it was NO match for me at kickboxing Lol

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Cause 7 8 9 Lol

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

What do you call cheese by itself?

Provolone

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

Daughter - "I'll call you later!"

Dad - "Don't call me later, call me dad"

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

"Dad! I'm hungry"

"Hello hungry, I'm dad"

[Dad Jokes @DadsJoke]

My computer sings.....

Its a dell