David @daiveeed - Twitter Profile

Daiveeed retweeted

about 3 years ago

There is a mistake Nigerian men make in love and relationship. You want to do everything, put in all the work, so all the spending and just allow your woman cruise through - providing only shared intimacy. The problem with that is, you think such love compels loyalty and commitment. But you're wrong. The heart is not gender specific. It is the same. To tell where a person's heart is, look at where they channel their resources and effort. Even Jesus said, where your treasure is, that is where your heart is. People are more likely to fight for a relationship where they are invested in, than one where the man does everything. If you do everything, there is really nothing tying her to the relationship unless she is just there for your money. In situations where she loves someone else, she will take money from you and invest in the relationship with whom she loves. When someone loves you, they see their resources as family resource not personal. They are happy to give to you and looking forward to doing so. They are happy to talk to you and be in your presence and look forward to doing so. Their body, they money, their time, their heart prioritizes you and they are happy to invest it in the relationship. You can't negotiate genuine desire by throwing money at women. When someone loves you, you'll know. You won't second guess it. Giving her the world and getting shoe and cake on your birthday 'because you deserve' it, is not love. Love gives at first instance not as reciprocity for endless stream of love. You'll keep doing the most for one day of gift. Love is not earned, love is given. Someone that loves you gives you because you are their man and they love you and it makes them happy to do so. When someone is invested in making the relationship work, putting you in every plan, speaking all the love languages to you - by giving not expecting, that is love. People who day they can't do wife duties (whatever that means) for someone theybare dating does not love them. There is no fuss in giving your best to the person you're committed to. "I will not do this, I will not do that" is common sense expression of a lack of love. Nigerian men must have atrophied brain not to know this. One thing I've realized is that many women do not love the men they are dating snd many men are okay with not being loved. By their actions, you can tell. That is why you keep hearing "if he deserves it" and this is in respect of someone they are in fact dating. Shameless! It is worse that the men are okay with it. In the end, we accept the love we think we deserve.

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