Dakota Freeman

Comedian aka guy that tells jokes

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

I got forrest scented soap, now I smell like bear shit

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

MCU? More like MC POO POO 💩
Am I right?

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

I think people should just stop making movies, we can stare at our hands for entertainment

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

Fart*
That's my opinion on everything

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

They say white people don't have culture, not true! We have crystal meth, hot dogs and genocide!

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

Some people go to bars to have fun, I go so I can live "my dreams"

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

There's not a single grey person in The Grey Man

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

If a mob of women were coming towards me and yelling, I would listen to whatever they said

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

If you just believe in yourself, nothing will happen

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

Why be progressive when you can be puritan

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

I wonder how many of my highschool teachers were also sad comedians

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

Who needs antidepressants when there is cheese!

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

This summer I plan on never going to the beach

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

Last night I dreamt that I came up with a really good tweet

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

I eat so much microwaveable food my kids will be able to survive a nuclear fallout

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

The Stranger Things kids now look like they could all kick my ass

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

I think everyone should eat some bread once in a while,maybe with a little butter

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

There's Nazis and right under that there are Star Wars fans

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

Shit is like a dog's cigar

[Dakota Freeman @DakotaComedy]

I started drinking Coca Cola Coffee, now I pee acid