Damien Fahey

Writer for Family Guy, On-Air at 104.3 MYfm

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

We should just let Tom Petty choose who gets to be president from now on.

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

When I'm bored at an airport I love running by the gate to Fort Lauderdale and yelling, "Oh my God! Kenny Chesney died!"

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

Every other Facebook post now starts with, “I don’t usually get into stuff like this on here but…"

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

@andrewhibbard 12 min AMRAP
10 T2B
8 Burpee Box Jumps
3 Broadway Bill Lee Chair Jumps

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

@helytimes It’s fun yelling “Sir! Sir! Excuse me, sir!” in a dog park when he’s misbehaving. A lot of men start looking around.

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

@helytimes

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

@BroadwayBillLee You’re the king. Hands down.

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

@helytimes then you’d love our dog. He’s such a gentleman we call him “Sir”

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

I wouldn't wish death on an enemy but I would wish being accidentally hit in the back of the ankle with a grocery cart.

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

Which Netflix food documentary is going to make YOU unbearable to be around for a month?

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

I think we all need to admit the cars The Price Is Right gives away are just okay.

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

FYI: I will be taking all of tomorrow off from work as I try to find the “unsubscribe” button on a single email.

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

@WolfVanHalen Can't adult today

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

Instagram is now just people saying "YAAAAAS!" back and forth to each other.

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

Sarah Huckabee Sanders looks like every woman eating lobster on a cruise ship.

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

Hi, I’m your home. Welcome back from vacation. Now unlock the door, step inside and be horrified with how the inside of me actually smells.

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

Sean Hannity looks like the kinda guy waitresses do nervous silent nods to each other about when he enters a steakhouse.

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

After putting on the sixth necklace everyday, I bet Johnny Depp kinda regrets committing so hard to always looking like that.

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

Adults need an app that alerts us when we are being secretly photographed in public by mean teenagers.

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

@dubouchet @FernieCommaAlex I like that too. It’s a good system.