Damon

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

I find your Monday morning productivity to be appalling.

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

I guess the worst part of Friday is when you find out it’s actually Thursday.

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

Sometimes I cry when lunch is over.

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

Don't be too hard on yourself. It's Friday, no one else is getting anything done right now either.

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

I really felt I contributed a lot today on Zoom when I unmuted myself to just say, “ok”.

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

On New Years Day, I’m just a pizza eating machine in sweatpants.

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

I just got yelled at for drying my hands on the “decorative towels.”

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

People at the dog park are starting to notice I don't have a dog.

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

My new email signature is just gonna read: "So sorry for the delayed response."

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

I spend about 70% of my morning thinking about what I'm going to eat for lunch.

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

I know the answer to all my problems is not at bottom of this pint of ice cream but I had to check.

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

I can't decide which pair of sweatpants to wear today.

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

I'll either email you back immediately or in 8-9 months.

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

Eating too big of a lunch and then wanting to nap is probably what I do best.

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

Keep your friends close and your pizza closer. 🍕

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

“Per my last email” is just a written middle finger.

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

Zoom meetings are 10% meeting and 90% just looking at yourself.

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

Being one of the first two people in a Zoom chat is the new bumping into someone at the grocery store. Please send help.

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

I put my hand sanitizer on like everybody else, one leg at a time.

[Damon @Damon_Berg]

Super Bowl Prediction: I’ll eat way too much.