Damon.

I’ve got death in my pocket, and nothing but time. ||Parody|RP|MC|| #Almighty

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

[Has been summoned.]

[State of New York @NYGov]

it’s hole filling season

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

The summer @_AngelofTorment forced me to go to the bodega.

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

Can’t believe the way I find out @_AngelofTorment had a son is by overhearing a random member of the public in the middle of Rome.

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

Can’t believe I found out @_AngelofTorment had a son from a random member of the public in the middle of Rome.

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

And I’m only getting started.

[Lucrezia Borgia (parody) @_AngelofTorment]

Christmas 1839 that is...

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

No one would ever guess that I’ve been drunk since christmas.

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

@_AngelofTorment [Squints slightly.] You’re not planning on going on a Stefan-type diet, are you?

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

You call that a lick? [Licks your forehead. Fully - temple to temple. Lion king style.]

[Lucrezia Borgia (parody) @_AngelofTorment]

@OfFeverDreams Hey @DamonAlmighty *licks*

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

@_AngelofTorment [Immediately returns the eye roll with a smirk.]

The Vatican has overdone it on the nudes enough for at least another century.

…I do have questions about this family friendly thing.

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

Well in that case you should definitely start there.

[☽ 𝐑𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 |Account Inactive| @QuipAndSass]

Okay stop, you're going to get me all excited.

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

Just wait til you see the Halloween section.

[☽ 𝐑𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 |Account Inactive| @QuipAndSass]

@DamonAlmighty and his closet.

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

You’re just trying to freak me out now. Luckily, I have nothing to hide.

[Following you with my gaze as you step past me before I physically follow you in, heading straight to the doorway leading to the walk-in closet to turn the lights on.]

For your viewing pleasure…

[☽ 𝐑𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 |Account Inactive| @QuipAndSass]

Oh sweetheart, the witches are always listening. They don't get a choice in what they hear.. But I'm sure they absolutely love hearing you talk about yourself.

[Cue the sarcastic tone, nipping at my lower lip to muffle a slight snicker. Sassy mode engaged as I step inside.]

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

Why would I ever get tired of that?

[My eyes do their little thing as I stop when I reach my bedroom door, pushing it open but waiting for you to step in first.]

And /why/ would witches be listening- to me, of all people? Unless they /want/ to hear me talk about myself.

[☽ 𝐑𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 |Account Inactive| @QuipAndSass]

I wonder.. do you ever tire of complimenting yourself? Something tells me not even for a second.

[I take each step one at a time; kicking off my heels as I went. Much too many stairs for that noise.]

I'd be careful talking about witches like that.. they can hear you.

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

Pfft. Witches are severely overrated.

[Adding a little playful eye roll as I start up the steps, pausing only briefly to turn around and gesture at my bare torso.]

You think witches could make this? Not a chance. [Far too amused by myself as I jog the rest of the way up.]

[☽ 𝐑𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 |Account Inactive| @QuipAndSass]

[My gaze is all around the room, taking in the little details; pausing at the bannister to follow your gaze. Fingernails trailing over the wood.]

Magic huh? I thought you kept your distance from witches, Damon.

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

I know. Fully stocked kitchen, too.

[Closes the door behind me, stopping near the bottom of the staircase and leaning on the railing as I turn to face you.]

Feel free to take the full tour later, but the real magic- [Peering towards the second floor.] happens up there.

[☽ 𝐑𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 |Account Inactive| @QuipAndSass]

[Eyes you a moment before walking over the threshold and turning to peek inside.]

How thoughtful.

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

[Smirks, taking one final drag of my cigarette before discarding it as I hold the front door open for you.]

Upon request.

[☽ 𝐑𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 |Account Inactive| @QuipAndSass]

[A dark brow arches, following after you.]

Is this the part where I disappear for days?

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

[Leaves the cigarette in the corner of my mouth as I get to my feet, one arm gesturing towards the house.] Right this way.

[☽ 𝐑𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 |Account Inactive| @QuipAndSass]

I asked didn't I?

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

Do you want to find out?

[☽ 𝐑𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 |Account Inactive| @QuipAndSass]

Do you even own a shirt?

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

[May or may not be in need of a distraction.]

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

@_AngelofTorment [Uncertain if I’m more surprised by the biting or being put in charge of executions as I scrunch up my nose, tapping my finger over your lips with a smirk.] Feeling feisty today, are we?

[Pauses in thought for a brief moment.] Executions and the Arts. Final offer.

[Damon. @DamonAlmighty]

@_AngelofTorment [Squints, leaning in slightly to check for signs of nutella on your forehead.]

I was thinking more along the lines of the government keeps doing all the work and we take all the credit whilst occupying the palazzos and whatnot.