For any women that need to hear this, there are loving men out there. There are men who will sit and listen to you while you talk about something that bothered you. There are men out there that will take accountability and apologize. Who can be aware of their behavior and how it affected you. Men that you can grow with. Men that will make you feel appreciated. You don't have to go through years of trauma with a man who doesn't know how to communicate and has no emotional intelligence. You are worthy of healthy love. And it is out there I promise you.
it’s crazy to think we can’t break our own hearts. sometimes the biggest heart break is realizing you acted or you were like the people who hurt you, the people you swore to never be like.
the sexiest thing a man can do is learn you. not just love you, but understand you,know how to show up for you, recognize your silence, remember the little things, and make you feel seen. It's never about grand gestures; it's about being intentional in the ways that matter most
One thing I cannot tolerate at this grown age is someone who acts like cause and effect does not exist. Your actions caused this outcome — so why are you standing there shocked, playing the victim.
My ex called me last month after two years of silence. He said he called to apologize.
I sat and listened to everything he had to say.
He admitted he was immature. He said he took me for granted. He said leaving me was the biggest mistake of his life.
Then, after a long pause, he asked: "I've changed. Can we try again?"
I was quiet for a while. Then said, "I believe you've changed. I genuinely do. But I need you to understand something."
"When you were treating me badly, I didn't leave immediately. I stayed and communicated. I told you exactly what was hurting me, what I needed, what I could no longer accept."
"You changed after I left. Not while I was there asking you to. So the version of you that finally became who I needed... was built on the pain of losing me. And I had to rebuild myself during that same time."
"I'm not angry. I forgive you completely. But I'm not available."
He was quiet. Then he said he understood.
We ended the call on good terms.
Afterwards, I made myself a cup of tea and sat in silence.
It hit me that growth after loss is real. People can change. But sometimes, a closed door isn't punishment. It's protection. Not from who they used to be.
But for the person you've become without them.
Would you ever go back to someone who only changed after losing you? Why or why not?
I’ll keep saying it. In REAL LIFE most men be laid up with something so ugly and ran through, I’ll never believe they don’t like bad b*tches (most don’t even move like the ugly they laid up with either). But this man has an affinity for calling out BLACK women being “hoes” but changes tune when it comes to other races. It also shows you how the women they’ll even have the audacity to CALL “hoes” is just a dog whistle for the TYPE of women they really want, but feel is out of their league. They all LOVE “hoes” they feel they have access to. Lol 💡