Rodney Dangerfield

* I get no respect. No respect. * ~Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) RIP

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"I asked my dad, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff." ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny #quotes

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

0027 Rodney Dangerfield & Andy Kaufman: Missing The Greats | video | https://t.co/NYS0DtT5E4 #funny #comedy

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"I told my wife she was lousy in bed so she went out and got a second opinion." ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny quotes

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"They say 'love thy neighbor as thy self' , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?" ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny #quotes

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light." ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny #quotes

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"My wife met me at the door wearing a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home." ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny quotes

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"She was so ugly that she looks like she came second in a hatchet fight." ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny #quotes

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"My son's getting' fat. He went to feed the ducks & couldn't bear to part with the bread crumbs." ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny quotes

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap." ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny quotes

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at prisons and wait for parolees." ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny quotes

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny quotes

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

0028 Rodney Dangerfield: The Legend Continues | video | https://t.co/QOckxIXPXH #funny #comedy

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"My family were big drinkers. When I was a kid, I was missing. They put my picture on a bottle of Scotch." ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"I once went out with a wild girl. She made French toast & got her tongue caught in the toaster." ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny #quotes

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat." ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny #quotes

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"Group sex are you kidding I had group sex - My wife screwed me in front of the jury." ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny #quotes

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"I figured I'd play cool and let my wife make the first move. She went to Florida." ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny #quotes

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me." ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny #quotes

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

"Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'" ~Rodney Dangerfield #funny #quotes

[Rodney Dangerfield @DangerfieldSez]

0014 Rodney Is Mystery Guest On "What's My Line" With Soup Sales | video | https://t.co/XuKuaXqAJ6 #funny #comedy