Dan Gleeballs

[Dan Gleeballs @DanGleeballz]

I told my coworker to call me on my office phone, but my boss also decided to call me at the same time and I wasted my good “yooooooooo pussyboy” on the wrong person 😐

[jameson (big deck energy) @jamesonhaslam]

going all the way to Tijuana to avoid a PE owned dentist

[Mads @europemaxxed]

”I will be positive this week“
Me three hours into the week:

[Boring_Business @BoringBiz_]

Many such cases

[Robert Sterling @RobertMSterling]

Me updating Financial Model v92 final FINAL (copy) [restored from SharePoint].xlsx

[DA VINKI @VorosTwins]

We just learned how to say "HELLO" in Mandarin!

[Rob L. White (‘Cuddle’ Short Film OUT NOW!!) @therlwrites]

who remembers these books? 🙋🏽‍♂️

[Jiikae @Jiikae]

Bringing your portable console on a trip and never pulling it out is so hilarious. You really thought you was gonna be living like the commercials huh

[Boring_Business @BoringBiz_]

Tax accountants going through 800 pages of trading activity just to see $2.32 of capital gains for their client

[matt @mattybtweets69]

If I was a lawyer I would start doing crowd work on the jury

[MY NAME IS MY NAME 🇺🇸🪮 @ctreid89]

Turkish hairline epidemic.

[Chris @citehchris]

10 beers deep standing outside trying to make eye contact til someone offers me a cigarette

[Mitya @Discollaborator]

I could never trust a mycologist. Too much spore exposure. Oh, mushrooms are a "crucial part of various ecosystems" are they? Or is that the mold talking?

[mj @maurajbg]

My boyfriend bought 10 pounds of confiscated knives from the TSA and they are now the party favors for his birthday party

[Jordi Hays @jordihays]

Companies should do NBA style trade deals.

I want to see OpenAI trade its COO and CFO to Anthropic in exchange for their CMO, a cracked PM, and a couple of Waterloo Class of 2026 new grads.

[Mama T🌻 @herchosenpath]

I'm going to be so sad if they ban TikTok. Look at the material 😭😭.

[⛧ @sscumfck]

Brisket burrito for breakfast? Suicide postponed

[Dr. Parik Patel, BA, CFA, ACCA Esq. @ParikPatelCFA]

The most effective path to reducing stress in the workplace is firing all the employees who feel stressed