Dan Human

Husband. Dog lover. Likes meat.

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

Much like how effective Nov. 1 Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You" takes over as the official theme song of the season, can we please start doing the same throughout October with anything and everything from 1998's "Hellbilly Deluxe" by @RobZombie .

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

Instead of "Like," can Microsoft please come up with a reaction in Teams that is merely "Acknowledged?"

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

In case you were wondering if the SaaS model was taking over the business world, I just received an offer to subscribe to shampoo.

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

Dear, stupid project management system I use every day at work. It is 4:23 p.m. on Friday. I have one last upload before my final end-of-week check on my jobs. Stop. Freezing. Up. On. Me. You. Stupid. Jeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrkkkkk!

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

Spirit Halloween needs to start renting out abandoned malls in their entirety and setting up indoor Haunted Themes parks. Each department store could be its own haunted house, and the other stores give room for side attractions, concessions, gift shops, etc.

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

Tfw your electricity's been out for 5 hours and it comes back on

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

Downloaded a grocery list app. Now I get daily emails with tips & advice.

I do not continuously ponder & work to improve my grocery shopping skills.

Do not email me every day just to boost views for your content. Use social and (less-frequent) newsletters.

#MarketingFail

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

@bkcoppernoll Worse things will emerge from me in about 3 weeks as I'm trying to climb about 400 feet in a mile on my bike.

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

Official course maps are out for Ironman Michigan. Took a look at the bike course's elevation map. Fuuuuuuuuudge...

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

@bkcoppernoll I'm really pretty burnt out with the MCU at this point. It was one thing when they released 1, maybe 2 movies per year. But now with all the TV shows and multiple movies per year, it's exhausting trying to keep up.

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

I was just quoted $3,649 for a new sliding patio door.

If I'm going to pay that much, I fully expect that I'll have the option to either step through it and into another dimension or possibly bestow eternal youth upon myself.

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

We may be amidst the collapse of society as we know it, but if there's a silver lining, we'll at least get to experience it to a soundtrack based on the re-emergence of old-school Metallica thanks to Stranger Things.

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

How the hell is MINNESOTA more progressive than my state?!

[Governor Tim Walz @GovTimWalz]

Let me be very clear: This ruling changes nothing in Minnesota today, tomorrow, or as long as I am governor. We will not turn back the clock on reproductive rights.

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

That's a really big robin in our bird bath.

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

It's Friday, there is a new season of #StrangerThings4 , and we have 3 types of ice cream in the house.

We are ready to freakin RAGE.

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

This year's big race: IronMan 70.3 Michigan.

Time to learn how to swim in a frigid, choppy lake and ride and run on hills.

https://t.co/fIfY3r7NVH

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

It's been almost a month since Easter and I still have candy left, which I'm pretty sure is the most grown-up thing I've ever done.

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

Signed up for #Triathon Race #1 for the season.

It's going to be COLD, but I need to start working my way up to making those @usatriathlon rankings.
https://t.co/k1btoF3UJU

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

My #BBQ hobby has grown to the point that I no longer have accessories. I have paraphernalia.

[Dan Human @DanHuman]

@bkcoppernoll Sounds like a reboot of "That's future Brandon's problem."