Daniel Birney

Amateur scamp.

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

Thinking today of all those kids growing up in the 80s who belonged to the city but did not belong to the night. Must’ve been tough.

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

You had me at “ugnaughts”. #Mandalorian

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

You sh*t on Sorvino, you sh*t on all of us.

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

If McCarthy loses again, is he out of the playoffs?

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

It feels so much more hardcore in here now.

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

I’m thinking about declassifying you.

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

At this point, are we even sure Herschel Walker played football?

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

Return to Office season is here. So exciting seeing everyone’s pants again.

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

Just here for all the #Oscars takes…

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

You think they’ll put Eric Clapton on the Artists We Lost List this year?

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

You’re full of crap Silverstein. #liar #wherethesidewalkends https://t.co/Nncwgmeys6

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

Pleased to announce, finally decided my ‘Til Tuesday cover band name will be…Wednesday’s Fine.
That is all. Thank you for coming.

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

Mondays are just Tuesday with an inferiority complex.

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

Who is managing Bruce Willis’s movie career? I have questions.

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

Judging by the amount of fireworks going off, I guess we blew up The Death Star. #JarJarNeverForget

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

Waiting at the @CVS cash register for my receipt to finish printing. Hit me up if you want to talk and catch up.

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

U think he goes by Bill Ocean now?

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

Stanley Tucci looks like a hot dog that gained sentience hundreds of years ago and has been living amongst mankind, adopting their ways, for centuries. Sorry, had to be said.

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

Look. Can we all at least agree that The Spin Doctors sucked?

[Daniel Birney @DanielBirney]

I miss Eric.