"How was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees... and build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs?"
"Huh? D'oh! Stupid poetic justice!"
"Actually, we were just planning the father-son river-rafting trip."
"Heh-heh! You don't have a son."
"You, food bag, do you have a son?"
"Yes, sir, I do."
"And is he a constant disappointment? Does he bring home nitwits and make you talk to them?"
"Oh, all the time. Have you ever heard of this kid Milhouse?"