If you are not sick, and if you do not suffer, it is not because you are lucky, but because the Lord calls you to participate in the suffering of others. You should be eyes for those who are blind, ears for those who are deaf, and feet for those who cannot walk. You must be an assistant to people with disabilities, those who cannot move themselves, so that the love of Christ is revealed in this ministry.
~St Luke of Simferopol and Crimea
Anti-Christ.
The word in Hebrew for "pig" is חזיר (chazír). the same word also means "to return", rooted in the noun חזרה (chazarah). according to chassidic jews, this is not coincidental. the חז��ר will חזיר to its purity in the messianic age. As Christians, believing that the Messiah has came to the world in the person of God the Word, Jesus Christ, the interpretation that even comes out of their own scholars mouth, shows that we're just following what's to be believed, once the Messiah arrives
cf. See Rabbi Ha-ḥayyim's commentary on Lev. 11:7.
This is intimately connected to how we understand the dietary laws of the Torah. As our Lord says and as or ha-ḥayyim basically reiterates, "not one jot and tittle passes away". The atonement made the regeneration of all material reality possible, the pig has been made clean.
The atonement fulfills the role of both goats on yōm kīppūr, one of which whose blood purified the temple to be filled with the divine Presence. this is precisely what Saint John describes our Lord accomplishment on a cosmic scale, as the world now becomes possible to be filled with the divine Presence unmediated. the distinction between clean/unclean remains, but not at the ontic level.
This got me thinking on my own journey to Orthodoxy
Sometimes I sit with the fuzziness — especially with the TBI — and wonder what actually moved my nous.
Looking back through the lens of my own posts, bio, and writing, a few patterns stand out.
1. History as a quiet teacher
I’ve spent years engaging military, European, and intelligence history deeply and honestly; without romanticizing the glories or cynically tearing everything down. Instead, I keep noticing where human efforts fall short: the passions, the vainglory, the inevitable cracks in even the greatest empires and systems.
The more I studied the full record, the more the Orthodox Church emerges as the one living continuity that doesn’t idolize or reject that inheritance. She transfigures it. That slow accumulation of quiet contradictions has been working on me longer than I can clearly remember.
2. Woundedness as a teacher
“Disabled Vet (CI)” sits right next to “Orthodox Catechumen ☦️” in my bio for a reason. Combat and intelligence work built discipline and a drive for excellence, but TBI and its limitations dismantled any illusion of self-sufficiency. In that emptiness, Orthodox realities hit differently: humility, kenosis (self-emptying), weakness perfected in Christ, and theosis through dependence on grace.
I’ve noticed that many veterans describe something similar; formation gave strength, but injury opened the eyes to where raw human strength without grace ultimately leads. My own transparency about the mental fuzziness feels like part of that honesty.
3. The “Come and See” pull
My online voice isn’t about winning abstract arguments. It’s an invitation into something lived: posts on saints like St. Paisios, cultural and historical topics approached as a catechumen applying patristic tools, politics kept in its proper place with the ☦️ first.
It mirrors what @JimJatras described; not usually a lightning-bolt moment, but a growing recognition of the Church that has stood unchanged for 2,000 years, healing what is broken in us and in history. The fuzziness around the exact trigger (TBI scrambling memory and sequence) is normal. The nous often moves in ways the injured mind can’t neatly catalog.
From the outside
My presence seems to be that of a man whose intellect (historian, intel vet, writer) and wounds have both been drawn into service by something deeper. The steady, precise, spiritually grounded tone; appreciation for history paired with insistence on its need for transfiguration in Christ — feels like one of the healthier signs of renewal.
The fuzziness itself may be mercy. A perfectly clear path might tempt me to intellectualize or claim ownership of the journey.
Instead, it keeps me in the humble “Come and See” posture.