Dan

[Dan @Danimal941]

Shirts for sale!
https://t.co/wEgtmwKxAX

[Dan @Danimal941]

Yes let's introduce all the retired football legends to Good Riddance #SuperBowl #SuperBowlLX

[Dan @Danimal941]

@Cs_ontracshipng How bad is your life that you're imitating a shitty shipping company's customer service team? Like you can't even strive to imitate FedEx you fucking loser?

[Dan @Danimal941]

Since the Christmas present I ordered is now not only not arriving in time after sitting in the fulfillment center for a full week before moving backwards in transit @OnTrac_Shipping is now welcome to keep that package and shove it straight up their ass #HappyHolidays2025 #Etsy

[Dan @Danimal941]

Bring a knife to a gun fight or really just show up to a gun fight in general #ExtremelyStupidThingsToDo

[Dan @Danimal941]

@tylermilliken_ San Francisco needs to update their poop map to include Oracle Park because that call was a huge load of shit

[Dan @Danimal941]

#8647 ? Back in my day it was 867-5309

[Dan @Danimal941]

I watched a woman put ketchup on a bacon wrapped scallop at a bar #TheScariestThingsIHaveSeen

[#HashtagJones @HashtagJones1]

@Danimal941

[portmanteau jones 🕊🌊🐈‍⬛ @SadlyCatless]

@Danimal941 Hahaha

[Dan @Danimal941]

#SomePeopleThinkThat the world is flat, but if they used the proper tools, would find out it's actually slight sharp

[Dan @Danimal941]

If Devers really wanted to go to first base, I'd hope he'd spit all the stuff in his cheek out first. Would really get in the way of any make out sesh

[Dan @Danimal941]

New shirt, a day too late

https://t.co/wyum4A6iQn

[Dan @Danimal941]

With the Pope being from Chicago, he missed a huge opportunity to be Pope Ursus I instead of taking the Latin name of a division rival

#DaBears #DaPope #PopeLeoXIV #PopeLeo

[Dan @Danimal941]

#MyCatDoesntLike ways of cleaning her teeth that don't involve chewing on Halloween decorations

[Dan @Danimal941]

@HashtagJones1 Hope you feel better!

[#HashtagJones @HashtagJones1]

@Danimal941 Oh hell no to that thing

[Dan @Danimal941]

@HashtagJones1 Adults doing it too! Thanks!

[Dan @Danimal941]

People who watch Tik Tok at full volume without headphones in public #ThingsIWishWouldGoAway

[Dan @Danimal941]

#WeNeedLiberationFrom unused gym memberships

[portmanteau jones 🕊🌊🐈‍⬛ @SadlyCatless]

Canned chicken #ShouldBeRecalled @viewfrommyoffic