Dani Simon

Fueled on shenanigans.

[Georgia Hardstark @GHardstark]

I can't believe we still have to get our periods during this insanity.

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

I just heard the O’Reilly’s theme on the radio for the first time ever and I was wayyyy too excited!! @daxshepard @DarcyCarden #armchairexpert

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

My #Uber driver just farted.

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

The plural of fox should be foxen.

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

@MyFavMurder it's important you click on the photo to see my super adorable crown.

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

@MyFavMurder bday murderino here! After buying 4 tickets we made it! (Bf left tix at home so we bought the last 2!) best present ever.

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

Would you say a mackerel is the holiest of fish?

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

So proud of my old ECD! Heat Hires Evan Slater as Creative Lead in New York https://t.co/60PXwk0g0p

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

@mybandowen hi Mike. It's me Dani. Are you entertaining NYC with more musak 2nite?

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

@americfootball you dudes playing that after show or whaaa?

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

Phew. I'm out. Wished her luck. Bai

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

"It has nothing to do with you I just miss you." Wut?

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

We're on my block and she called him again. "What question do you think you're restricting from me? I think you should let me come see you"

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

She's laughing and her text convo with him. I bet she said something super dirty and he replied with an eggplant emoji bc she wants dat dick

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

Well like, they are.

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

I just keep nodding and saying boys are definitely dumb so she just stops and this nightmare ends.

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

Hung up. Got back story. She said she wants to fuck him and kick him the mouth. She dated him for 7 years and can't say how dumb he is.

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

She let it out, "I love you and I miss you and I want to touch you."

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

She's saying she can't express herself because she's in the car with strangers. I told her she'll never see me again. Let it out girl.

[Dani Simon @DaniSimonSays]

We got a name! Hassan.