🚺MILF

as a mother it is my duty to give product reviews on every purchase I make, and laugh at how fucking weird my babies are.

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

Get out my swamp.

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

Funniest thing my kid does right now is ask her dad when he’s going to marry me.

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

I’m not saying I’m stupid but I do be doing a lot of dumb shit

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

I’ve gotten to this point in my life where I just be saying shit, don’t even care if I’m being mean anymore.

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

My kids were bad as hell today 😪

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

You know when you think “god wouldn’t that be hilarious if this very specific thing happened” then it does.

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

@JRodriguez323 Okay so we need to find some one that isn’t either of those options. He’s just a smooth talker

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

Things I find comical:

The fact that I have no fucking clue how to use TikTok. Nor do I have the mental capacity to ever understand it.

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

@JRodriguez323 Who quit!?

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

@JRodriguez323 I should hopefully be in by 10 tonight :)

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

@JRodriguez323 Merry Christmas, sad I’m not your boo thang 😂

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

Sometimes I wonder why my boss tries to argue with me… especially when it’s over something that was worked out between myself and local management

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

@JRodriguez323 @Chrissnkrs22 Do you think if I go in to tell my doctor about my diabetes she will give me some?

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

Things I find funny at 4:30 in the morning:

Someone knocking on my office door, me proceeding to tell them to come in. Then as soon as they open the door telling them to now go away.

I don’t even turn around in the process so I have no clue who it is. SO FUNNY.

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

Tell me why I did a full face of makeup at 1pm? Not like I have anywhere to go

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

I’m like the Lorax but for the hoes 🤣🤣 @JRodriguez323

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

Nothing pisses me off more than coming to work on a Monday and my boss has apparently rearranged my fucking desk… it 3:30 and I’m mad

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

@JRodriguez323 Whore

[🚺MILF @DaniTheMixedOne]

@JRodriguez323 I’ll be in around 3:30 so if not to busy we catch up cuz life be lifin