A DAY IN THE LIFE OF SBF:
7:00 AM - wake up from two hours of quality sleep on beanbag
7:15 AM - do some adderall
7:30 AM - do some FTX fraud
7:45 AM - eat chips, instruct other people to do adderall and fraud
8:00 AM - Drink Red Bull, do Alameda fraud
8:30 AM - lose a billion dollars on a leveraged long while playing League Of Legends
8:45 AM - fill hole with customer funds
9:00 AM - morning sex with Caroline on beanbag while playing League Of Legends
9:02 AM - 8 minute nap on beanbag
9:10 AM - meeting with Gary Gensler
10:30 AM - meeting with Maxine Waters while playing League Of Legends
11:30 AM - transfer customer funds to Joe Biden
12:00 PM - do aderrall, call dad to do fraud
12:30 PM - give dad a raise to please mom while playing League Of Legends
1:00 PM - eat donuts for lunch, liquidate whale customers while playing League Of Legends
1:15 PM - buy Bahamas real estate, transfer to mom
2:00 PM - call with Genesis to lie about balance sheet
2:30 PM - call with BlockFi to lie about balance sheet
3:00 PM - creative writing time, making up a story about CZ
3:15 PM - do more adderall and review the day’s fraud
3:30 PM - delete emails and signal messages
4:00 PM - print some FTT
4:15 PM - go into DeFi and take loans on FTT while playing League Of Legends
5:00 PM - drink 2 Red Bulls and eat 4 more adderall
5:15 PM - loan Alameda some FTX customer funds for the LULZ while playing League Of Legends
5:30 PM - bribe a Chinese official
6:00 PM - instruct Caroline and Ryan to bribe Chinese officials
6:30 PM - do some artbitrage with Korean bank account but somehow still lose money
7:30 PM - create and list 12 shitcoins and offer customers 100x leverage
7:45 PM - sweep customer stop losses on newly listed shitcoins
8:30 PM - lose fresh funds on leveraged Bitcoin long
9:00 PM - late dinner and orgy with friends back at the apartment
9:06 PM - back to offices to do some fraud
9:30 PM - prank call Elizabeth Warren pretending to be Gary Gensler
10:00 PM - pick out outfit for Congressional hearing, forget how to tie shoe laces
10:30 PM - 6 more hours of doing fraud with his friends while playing League Of Legends
4:30 AM - do adderall and go to sleep
5:00 AM - fall asleep on beanbag, dream of doing fraud and being President
7:00 AM - repeat the previous day