A healing stage is disgust. Yes, disgust. You will be DISGUSTED by the people whose love you seeked. You will feel embarrassed about the choices you made and the people who had access to you who didn't deserve it. Feel this feeling then let it go.
That will NEVER be you again.
Stop dating neurodivergent women if you refuse to understand how deeply inconsistency affects them. Mixed signals, emotional unpredictability, and changing expectations aren’t harmless they can be genuinely distressing. Empathy isn’t optional in a healthy relationship.
There is a very specific female fatigue that comes from knowing exactly what is happening, explaining exactly what is happening, being told you are overreacting, and then watching exactly what is happening happen with excellent punctuality.