Danny Braff

Funnier than 80% of the comics in Austin

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

@lilviolet To be fair… Your uncle’s thoughts on racism kills

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

Hope I don’t bomb

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

@Garytard0 @LeMaireLee Good point

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

@LeMaireLee I think everybody is right. The only way to decide who is funnier NY or Austin is for me to go on Rogan to discuss it.

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

“Vaginas are actually self cleaning”
- A woman with a stinky pussy

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

@5tevenRo55 @JeffDye Don’t know yet

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

@5tevenRo55 @JeffDye He just added The Dojo of Comedy in Morris Plains on Sept 20th

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

@DantoineC @MHLayton @robertkelly Hey looking to purchase this. Please dm me

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

I’ll have the state of New Jersey, Shaken, not Stirred

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

@srfffAuuus How much?

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

Don Jovi be like: “Stabbed through the heart, and You’re to blame”

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

Pumpernickel Bagels are great for when you want a bagel but don’t want to enjoy it.

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

The problem with playing the Mohegan Sun Arena is you have to put the word “Uncasville” on you tour posters and shirts.

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.

Teach a man to fish, he will post douche’y pics with a bass on Instagram

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

If the writers strike goes well, hopefully bar shows will start paying 2 drink tickets.

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

Just had a host bring me on stage as @zachbraff. I’ve never seen a crowd get so excited only to be immediately disappointed.

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

Congratulations to Jamie Lee Curtis for winning best supporting actress in that Yogurt commercial. #Oscar #oscars

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

Neck, Back,Pussy, Crack is the adult version of Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.

[Danny Braff @Danny_Braff]

I don’t mean to brag but I got a blue check mark on Tinder.