Dan Simpson

LOL Twitter got hacked and did not realise. My name is not Nam Parham and I'm not a woman.

[VideoGamer.com @VideoGamerCom]

RT & follow for a chance to win Captain Toad Wii U & t-shirts #VGToad details @VideoGamerCom http://t.co/0zjeCNv34r

[Ali-A @OMGitsAliA]

Giveaway time! @Assassins_UK and I are giving away a Guillotine edition of #ACUnity - RETWEET & follow to win! :D

[Vikkstar ★ @Vikkstar123]

Me & @Assassins_UK are giving away a Guillotine edition of #ACUnity Retweet & be following for a chance of to win! :)

[Assassin's Creed UK @Assassins_UK]

ACU is out! We have teamed up with @xboxuk to give away an Xbox One Retweet & follow us. UK ONLY Winner chosen 24/11

[Dan Simpson @Dano593]

I may or may not have just made my tongue bleed by licking a gobstopper to vigorously.

[Dan Simpson @Dano593]

@GhostOfSparkles Get out, I live on the Isle of Man!

[The WOMBATS @thewombats]

Recording colourful sounds in black and white. #wombatsalbum3 is coming soon. Who's ready for it?

[Dan Simpson @Dano593]

Fairly sure that @BBCR1 censored "He brings a gun to school" but not the word "Dick" from teenage dirtbag...

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

Some of the gorilla's other favorite signs:

“I will swallow the Devil alive.”
"Worship me." http://t.co/Vbzbeb09Ui

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

A Miracle Of Nature! Meet The Gorilla Who Keeps Declaring ‘I Am God!’ In Sign Language http://t.co/Vbzbeb09Ui

[Dan Simpson @Dano593]

Look at this shithole I done made in minecraft #PS4share

[Dan Simpson @Dano593]

Left my phone on my desk when going to the toilet this morning couldn't do #TwitterOnTheShitter

[Dan Simpson @Dano593]

Well no social life for me for a while http://t.co/uzRvvvd0UV

[Dan Simpson @Dano593]

The Boat That Rocked. A truly awesome film.

[Dan Simpson @Dano593]

Productive day at work yesterday http://t.co/mrYv7m9vKt

[Dan Simpson @Dano593]

@twittawoo Look on the bright side, you went with the intention of coming back half the man you were, with the lack of funds it may happen

[Dan Simpson @Dano593]

Time for everyone's favourite part of the day, "Twitter on the Shitter"

[Alex Smith @alsmiffy]

“@J_Graham19: @djh3max @alsmiffy @trottimus Russia confirms death of five geckos on space sex mission http://t.co/cuVUHErvEx” noooooo!

[Dan Simpson @Dano593]

Old lady just sat down right next to me. Fucking hums