Dan Sterling

TV: Co-Creator "Animal Control" writer-producer “The Office” “The Sarah Silverman Program” "South Park" “King of the Hill" Films: "Long Shot” “The Interview”

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

Find me now on Substack: https://t.co/PhMVHUzyCe

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

Wait why would Oprah not have said it “You Winfree car, and you Winfree car…”?

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

We elected him for one reason: to build America a proper ballroom, and he can’t even do that right.

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

Who ever could have predicted this?

[Fox News @FoxNews]

The iconic Kars4Kids jingle is coming off the air in California after a judge ruled the charity’s ads misled donors about where their money was actually going.

The judge said the Kars4Kids ads led people to believe they would be helping local, needy children with their donations, but according to the ruling “children, especially needy or underprivileged children, are not the recipients of the proceeds of the donations.”

In reality, donations have been going to help fund a New Jersey-based Orthodox Jewish outreach program, which includes organizing annual trips to Israel for 17-year-olds and 18-year-olds.

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

A mailman at the UPS Store? Now I’ve seen everything.

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

I thought 8645 was Jenny’s phone number.

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

Nothing’s changed for me. I still think Aer Lingus sounds like a sexy airline.

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

Is there any chance that the writers at Mad Libs are so earnest and innocent that they don’t know their own careers are entirely about inciting schoolkids to say the words ass and balls?

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

Fleshing this idea out later when I have time but just reminder keywords, Waymo, nose pick, video blackmail.

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

Some of us have said from the beginning of his second term that Trump should fire his right hand man.

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

They’re pushing me to my limit, and if they think I’m not willing to take acid and write folk songs, fuck around and find out.

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

https://t.co/SsmuxMxYcn

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

GLENDALE BLVD

https://t.co/6l9zbGi2mH

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

Why after all this time of being a Prince fan and having a shrink in Beverly Hills, would I not have called them and asked the thingie about time/mind? Or is that a joke they get like 10 x/week?

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

Movie about high school drama nerds called “ Geek Tragedy”? I’m just giving gold away at this point.

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

https://t.co/5hgN9PhLWv

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

I’m not saying this idea is perfect, but just putting it out there: Julie Bowen Yang.

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

@wildros02707941 I fear I’ll regret asking: but what are you talking about?

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

Find me now on Substack: https://t.co/PhMVHUzyCe

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

@JPManoux I actually don’t care.

[Dan Sterling @dansterl]

Not to start shit, but I’m from the 70’s and I’m a 90’s bitch.