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Dan Wright
@DanWright99
Snapchat: henchkid1 Instagram: Dan_Wright97
Joined December 2013
74 Following
39 Followers
168 Posts
Everybody has that 1 friend that:
1) Turns everything dirty.
2) Eats like a pig and gains no weight.
3) Swears a lot.
4) Has a funny laugh.
Fingers are so weird…… our arms just split into other smaller arms…... ok
me going anywhere with my family: can i stay in the car?
Mom: “the spider is more scared of you than you are of it!”
Me: are u fuckin sure?
seven billion people on this planet and i have like 2 friends
my future wedding
Dear autocorrect: at no point have I ever meant “ducking.”
i am pretty much 3% human and 97% stress
people who bite ice cream scare the shit outta me
I'd say about 60% of the stories I tell go unfinished cause either someone cuts me off or I stop talking cause I realize no one is listening
that moment when you miss one step on the stairs, and you think you're about to die
be careful who you trust
Sometimes when I look at you, I just can't help but fantasize about kicking you in the face
Don’t be offended if someone doesn’t reply to your text. Their phone is probably “just on silent” or “right in front of their lying face”
When your teacher gives a 20 minute speech about not wasting time
What hurts you today, makes you stronger tomorrow.
"She's really nice when you get to know her!" = "She's a bitch but you'll get used to it."
No matter what..
I don't drink to get drunk, I drink to..No wait, I definitely drink to get drunk
This is me
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