Dave R

Dumb things i say out of context

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

Friend: "Do you see any Viet Kong"
Me: "No, but i am farting alot"

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

“So I can’t use The term “LEGO ™ pussy” during the business meetings?”

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

“What am I looking at your…. I’m looking at your Lego pussy”

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

"Top floor mastrabation is peak"
"Jerking in the penthouse"
"bunkbed"

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

“I’d probably be good at dancing if I didn’t grow up on the second floor”

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

“I’m the star turn the flash on your cameras, I run plays on these niggas like gerry McNamara” a rap lyric by me

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

“Can’t wait to get jerked off on a plane”

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

“I thought he was going to arch his piss over the vent shaft”

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

“Oh there’s the girl that put her foot in my mouth”

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

“The Pakistani fuck thinks ima gypsy”

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

@uncomfortCarl Lmk

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

“My eyes have Tourette’s”

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

“That’s a new smell I farted”

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

“Those boobs would knock me out in a fight “

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

“The presentation of those balls where really good”

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

“This bitch left a booger in my ball hair”

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

“I have a right to be retarted, they don’t”

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

God I miss JUUL

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

Used a full roll of tp today we arnt the same

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

“Cape Cod Dave Department”

[Dave R @DaveOutOfContex]

“I think my taste buds have recovered from Michelle Obama”