Dave Perry

If you want gay peanuts, pet monkeys.

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

Because 8\10 U.K. National newspapers support the Tories and their billionaire owners would love you to stay home and not bother #WhyVote

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

Momma said life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna ... oh wait.

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

@congo_doc She already has more than enough patients.

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

@congo_doc We have a winner! And apparently, he's just walking in to the department.

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

My wife works in the NHS and has just been told to prepare to meet Jeremy Hunt. She wants to know what to ask him. Suggestions?

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

Local supermarket have sold of mozzarella. If this is the best modern society can manage, what's the point of going back to work tomorrow?

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

Cool coupling carrots!

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

All things must pass #BePositiveIn4Words

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

In the pantheon of greatest human achievements the invention of cheese on toast must be there or thereabouts.

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

With climate change taking too long to destroy humanity, CEO Trump wants results now.

[Currently Not Alive @SheikhKhalifaPM]

#FACT The two atomic bombs used on Japan in 1945 were called Fat Man and Little Boy.

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

@James4Labour @realDonaldTrump This is like some weird deleted scene from Dr Strangelove

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

@christhebarker The blisteringly fast 4G I was treated to in my tent in a Cornish field last week felt wrong somehow too.

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

You may be due PPI compensation

#StrangeThingsToShoutDuringOrgasm

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

Smash that like button!

#StrangeThingsToShoutDuringOrgasm

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

@drjanaway Arguments can always be made. You imply that you will brook no argument. This is dogmatic for what is, basically, a thought experiment.

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

@nickreeves9876 Daily mail : "England team have had local beer - so we'll win!"
Reality : England humiliated 4-1 by a far superior German side.
QED

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

The economy needs stimulus yet the Tories' plan is to unplug the defibrillator to save money on the electricity bill. https://t.co/NPSBVBkQu7

[Conservatives @Conservatives]

Labour's shopping list would cost £5.8bn in debt payments every year - enough to pay 56,000 teachers 65,000 nurses & 53,000 police officers

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

@JohnRentoul @BBCJLandale The only metaphor currently needed when discussing Brexit is "Dog's Dinner"

[Dave Perry @DaversPerry]

@theMattachines Y2K preparation cost billions and provided negligible benefit to the people investing in it. Good analogy.