David Laurence

Writer and Stand-up Comedian in NY/NJ/PA region. Wanna know more? Ask.

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

Against good health? There's a massive MEASLES outbreak! Support war? Trump wants to invade Panama and Greenland, both allies! Oppose free speech? We're not the ones banning books! Want high taxes? No, just not massive tax cuts for the rich. And corruption? That's Trump's trick!

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@laughingat45 @mikeymusto Amazing response! I couldn't have said it better myself

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@nicksortor He voted by mail.

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@Milajoy Wow. You actually posted the truth for once. Question for you: did posting about an event in actual reality hurt?

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@JoJoFromJerz You and @IAmPoliticsGirl have the best rants!!

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@JamieBonkiewicz Our country is literally jumping the fucking shark!!

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@IamJulito @JoJoFromJerz Weirdo falls short. I think sociopathic megalomaniac is more fitting...

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@RonFilipkowski If it was so fake, why is it redacted to hell and back?

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@JoJoFromJerz Why padded? I'd say with spikes, like if an iron maiden was a room.

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@TheOnlyEsta Lord Baldemort

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@LucasSa56947288 Karma?

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@actingliketommy Karma?

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@Joan_of_Snarc @Grognard256 @cnnbrk Thanks for the back up. Much appreciated.

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@Grognard256 @cnnbrk She said many people think it's sexy, not that she does. Try doing some research instead of parroting Trump.

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@JoJoFromJerz The funny part: in an interview with @MeidasTouch yesterday, they confirmed he is NOT actually a vegan.

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@sundiamondshine @danielsgoldman If Bill Clinton did what has been alleged of Trump, I would denounce him too.

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@RealSpitfire Not one Democrat in a position of power has rejoiced in her situation. However, when tragedy strikes a Democrat, Trump himself savors the moment.

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@elonmusk Hey @grok, is this statistic legitimate or is it doctored?

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@kylegriffin1 This is very much like playing soccer on the lawn of Arlington...

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@DoryBeutel @Fahrenthold This AI slop is pathetic. The Lincoln Memorial is facing the wrong direction lol

[David Laurence @DavidHLaurence]

@mjfree White outfits.