Daz™️

(dan/dan)

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

Your body is a disneyland

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

This still holds up

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

AI art is like, "What if Gucci reimagined Bart Simpson"

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

Guy who pronounces ceviche like avicii

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

When I hear the word polycule this is what I imagine

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

"We understand you don't have time to complete this deck but we can't move the presentation"

*submits not good creative deck because of lack of time*

"We need to cancel the meeting this project is not up to our standards"

MORAL: GIVE YOUR FUCKIN CREATIVES TIME TO DO A PROJECT

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

Going out in Brooklyn tonight but it’s Lisbon.

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

Texts from the Dems right now be like: "PLEASE, We beg of you, our NATION needs a HERO to save us from this DARKNESS. Oh how foolish we were to believe in the PROPHECY. ALL we need is $5 more dollars for our BIDEN vote drive. HARK you must help!"

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

@MyJewishGuilt Mu'Adib

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

If I was a Reductress writer:

I lived it! My boyfriend is 5'7!

[Dov Waxman @DovWaxman]

To the people celebrating the mass murder of Israeli civilians, you have lost your humanity. To the people enthusiastically calling for Israel to decimate Gaza, densely populated with 2 million Palestinian civilians, you have lost your humanity. Israelis and Palestinians are real people, just like you and me.

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

This pupusa grabs back

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

I cried

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

@thetalilama_ Important

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

The mohel at my bris

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

Girl in bridal party who asks makeup artist for juggalo makeup

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

@brookskarly This is an insult to mashed potatoes

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

I’d rather take 3 showers a day than wear a parka

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

Here's a business idea for you: drink more margaritas out of cactus stemmed margarita glasses.

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

@IkeYouGuys Me getting laid off

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

@Dingdongduckies Welcome to hell!

[Daz™️ @Dazneer]

The orcas sunk the billionaire titanic submersible