David Hails

Author.
Silly bastard

[David Hails @DCAHails]

@JoeBiden @RobertPicardo @DrBiden Why has Jills head on fire?

[Henya The Genius📛 @henyathegenius]

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✅Follow @Makeship and @henyathegenius
🔄Repost (retweet) this post

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Two winners will be randomly selected and contacted by @Makeship dayo!

Good luck everyone dayo! 📛💜

[Seabrook Crisps @SeabrookCrisps]

Seriously thinking about turning the fryers off and just slicing the potatoes directly onto the staff car park.

[Will @IAMWILLS_]

GUYS ITS HAPPENING

[El Borto @bortinez_]

“My party betrayed me.”

[David Hails @DCAHails]

My invitation code: GEVYH4LY2K
Join the Zenless Zone Zero Version 3.0 Return Event to earn up to 340 Polychromes and get a chance to win game consoles, figures, and merch! Return to the game or register and link an invitation code to claim Polychrome ×60!
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[Aboo Hafsah @AbuHafsah1]

The girl who stabbed 3 pupils in a Manchester school today was Russian.

The teacher who saved the rest of the pupils and was stabbed himself was Mr. Abdulla.

[Wolf of X @WolfofX]

Michael Jackson prank-called Russell Crowe for 3 years straight, even though they'd never met.

MJ found out that Crowe stayed at hotels under the last name 'Wall,' so he called him all the time and said:

"Is Mr. Wall there? Is Mrs. Wall there? Are there any walls there? Then what's holding the roof up? Ha ha."

[David Hails @DCAHails]

https://t.co/0NX8AJvvJN

[David Hails @DCAHails]

@ironmouse And introduced itself as a v tuber that quit and was now back in spider form

[єℓαιηє @elainesim28]

Please pray for my husband, he got stung by a bee in the forehead. He’s in the hospital now, his face all swollen and bruised.
He almost died.

Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with a shovel.

[David Hails @DCAHails]

@LichVtuber Pantone black 7 c 👀.

Treacle I like for a black cat.
Or darkness

[Anonymous @YourAnonCentral]

Twitter is censoring anyone who says or implies that Trump staged a shooting again. Whatever you do, do not post about how this was a giant sympathy farming false flag completely staged by the regime.

[David Hails @DCAHails]

https://t.co/AQoKgRVqdd

[Creepy.org @creepydotorg]

Dick Van Dyke turned 100 years old a few months ago and is no longer allowed to play with LEGOs.

[David Hails @DCAHails]

@unitedutilities have you got an update on water outage in M5 area?

[BladeoftheSun @BladeoftheS]

Piers Morgan's origin.

[Very Brexit Problems @VeryBrexitProbs]

Sharon Osborne attending tiny goose-stepper Tommy Robinson’s march is peak plastic patriot.

Lived in Beverly Hills for 25+ years. Left when the tax bill got too high. Had a $1.7 million IRS lien for unpaid taxes.

Came back to Britain after a racism controversy ended her American TV career.

Now performs British patriotism cosplaying as working class from her 350-acre Grade II listed estate in Jordans, Buckinghamshire.

[David Hails @DCAHails]

@PorcelainMaid Amaze amaze amaze

[David Hails @DCAHails]

@princesskitti Aldi