Dean Don't

Just don't.

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

"At least your underwear last a long time. I got fart holes in mine." #deandont

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

Crows are the rats of the sky world.

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

Dean: you actually have to be really lucky to be able to actually kill 2 birds with one stone. #deandont

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

"They say I'm not a professional in that field of work ..... but I'm not unprofessional." #deandont

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

While shopping at IKEA: "I know what we're going to do... we're leaving." #deandont

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

"This is Deanglish.... Dean English." #deandont

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

After having a convo about bionic organs: "maybe I should get a bionic bumhole.. So I can fart double!" #deandont #seriously

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

*mumbling from the kitchen* Me: what? Dean: Nothing... Me: that 'nothing' is suspicious.. what did you do? Dean: don't worry... #deandont #iamworried

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

"okay I have to mention something. Goat actually means greatest of all time. Have you heard that before?..."

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

"Have you ever thought about what it would feel like to get skinned alive..? I bet it would hurt." #deandont #scary

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

Dean: so I saw Prince Harold got engaged to that girl from Suits eh? #deandont #itsprinceHARRY

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

Me- What is all over the floor? Did you track in mud? Dean- huh? Oh I thought that was Ginger.... #deandont blame the dog. #husbands #smh

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

"I went buck at that buffet. I had nothing but chicken wings and cheesecake!" #deandont

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

Me: Dean it's so cold in here! Dean: oh yeah.. I turned the furnace off.. #deandont turn the furnace off!!

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

You see the plan here was.... well I didn't really have a plan. That's the problem. #deandont start building shelves without a plan.

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

"I have pajamas I can convert into shorts.." #deandont #ever

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

"I did something stupid yesterday..." 🙄 #deandont

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

Deaning: hoping for caffeine; heating an empty coffee pot for 30 minutes burning the coffee into the glass #deandont #breakthecoffeepot

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

"When life gives you a chainsaw... you cut down a tree!" #deandont #cutdowntrees

[Dean Don't @Dean_Dont]

"I'm naming my hotdog The DillDog!" 👀 #deandont