Brian Deans

stand-up comic

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

My daughter is skipping her 12th birthday this year! And going straight to 13!! Cause FUCK 12!!! #BLM

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

Carole Baskin killed her husband. Is the new Jeffery Epstein didn’t kill him self.#TigerKingNetflix #TigerKing

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

Me watching @netflix : “babe did you know Aaron Hernandez was gay?” My girlfriend: “yeah he plays for the @Patriots “😂😂💀☠️👻

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

@disneyplus you guys are crazy if you don’t make a live action of the gargoyles!!

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

Some of y’all never rode in the car with your grandma while she smoked cigarettes with the windows up, and it really shows.

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

Bruh... I can tell our political views are different based on your sunglass selection

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

I need a whole head roll emoji 👀

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

I ate Chick-fil-A today and got diarrhea. Am I the devil!?

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

Barber: any plans this Saturday?
Me: I only showered today for this haircut.

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

"You about to catch these hands!" I say to myself right before I masturbate.

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

White privilege is petting 4000 dollars 🐕

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

White people don't want to believe black people are abused by police and the system. But 100% believe zombies will take over one day...

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

Yes my car gets me from point A to point B. But it complains every step of the way!

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

When there are a million songs to choose from but you face to face with Alexa and can only think of those same 8 songs you always play...#playlistgoals

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

@grantsheffield Getting my life together lol

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

Women are like ducks, they only like you when you got bread.

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

I just realized that teenagers today have basically lived the plot of the @trumanshow #highthoughts

[Micah and JD @theopenmicers]

This week of the podcast we finally get one of our best friends, and absolutely hilarious comic, @DeansBrian. #TOM #TheOpenMicers #Podcasts #Comedy #BlackPodcasts #Listen https://t.co/g3mtad6jxo

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

You know a lot of ppl died for your right to kneel during the N A. So the best thing you can do is not exercise that right!! #TakeTheKnee

[Brian Deans @DeansBrian]

Life hack: Don't take life advice from me... #weekend