DefRealQuotes

Giving you the best, most inspirational, and totally real quotes from celebrities across time (a parody account)

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“Everybody calm down, it’s just a buy one get one on slacks”
-@VancityReynolds

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“I cannot wait for the Wii sports remaster”
-@playboicarti

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“Plumbing makes your hands cold”
-@jimmykimmel

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

This is better than some of the shit I spurt out

[Zach Kornfeld @korndiddy]

Shout out to the inventor of soup. A true blessing bestowed upon this world.

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“I’ll be golfing till I’m dead bitch”
-@TigerWoods

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“That’s not quite the softness I wanted out of my fabric softener”
-@korndiddy

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“I just can’t stop watching Caddyshack”
-@KeithHabs

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

@MikeFalzone Bout 1 and a half

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“I love the song “Short People” by Randy Newman”
-@PhillyD

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“I told you not to eat those shrimp chips”
-@matthwatson

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“I never met a pug I didn’t like”
-@eddyburback

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“I steal all of my best friend’s ideas”
-@Shakepool

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“I cannot decide which synth to use tonight”
-@JustinWhang

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“Hey can you get this one? I left my wallet in my other pants”
-@AdamSandler

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“Dude stop picking Sub-Zero, you keep throwing the same 3 moves and it’s obnoxious”
-@therealelp

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“Anyone ever tell you that you look like Sam Rockwell?”
-@cher

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“Give me your deepest v-neck”
-@sushitrash

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“Keep the cheese train comin pal”
-@jacksfilms

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“I can’t wait for the release of the Sega Dreamcast”
-@AesopRockWins

[DefRealQuotes @DefQuotes]

“Don’t forget to get your brakes checked every 30k-70k miles!”
-@BarackObama