Denis Rodríguez

...

[Roberto Martín @robbhaifisch]

Solo un evento deportivo en EEUU puede juntar a Samuel L. Jackson, Leticia Sabater y Kim-Jong Un.

[Hugh Laurie @hughlaurie]

fuck

[Indie 505 @Indie5051]

No hay ninguna explicación lógica que haga creíble que una joven promesa del Barcelona participe en una acción de UNICEF con refugiados, haga una sesión de fotos con un bebé y que, 19 años después, ambos se encuentren en una final de la Copa del Mundo como dos de las grandes estrellas del fútbol.

[Gaspi @gaspipd]

Cuando yo me muera, ahí va a ser el verdadero:

Corte

[DistantCoder @DistantCoder]

I can’t believe my friend Alex is gone. I loved him so much, he was an inspiration, the greatest guy you could ever hope to have a chance to meet.

He supported me through thick and thin, was always there for me when I needed him, I am beyond blessed to have gotten the chance to call this guy one of my best friends.

I’m gonna miss you buddy, you were too good for this world, I and everyone who you’ve touched through your content, your kindess and your humor will have you in their hearts forever. rest in peace ❤️

[👽 @___R3V___]

O sea que eliminar la delincuencia y la corrupción te permite destinar el dinero a construir nuevos hospitales. Qué fascista suena eso.

[Denis Rodríguez @DenisRo2002]

@El_Giocondo @didiflash_ Soy ese todos los días a toda hora

[alien.kz @alienkz_]

El hate al reguetón y al reparto (y no hablo de no consumirlo) es generalmente cosa de wannabe cultos o artistas frustrados/mediocres, las personas más instruidas que conozco no están en esa bobería

[Tomi. @tomaszrch]

Cristóbal Colón en 1493

[Simon Maechling @simonmaechling]

It’s a rough time to be a scientist.

You spend decades learning how to measure things properly.

How to separate signal from noise.
How to distinguish hazard from risk.

And then you open your phone and watch fear beat data - again and again and again.

In the lab, we argue about controls, concentrations, confidence intervals.

Online, people argue about screenshots, podcasters and blogs.

This little molecule in my hand?
The dose matters.
Exposure matters.
Evidence matters.

Being a scientist today means doing more than running experiments.

It means explaining, clarifying, correcting - over and over and over again.

So yes - it’s a rough time to be a scientist.

But it’s also the most important time to speak up.

[Cuacharas @Cuatxaras]

Le robaron un dinero a mi compañera de trabajo hoy, le pregunté que cuanto dinero era y me dijo $350. Fuí al baño a contarlo y solo eran $87.
¿Por que la gente miente así?

[Mala Mujer @MalaMMujer]

Se tragan cualquier cuento que ven en Tiktok, pero a la NASA le cuestionan el más mínimo detalle.

[the meji. @mejitwo]

Petition to change "et al." to "and gang" in academia

[John Doe @JohnDoe1465199]

@stats_feed How do they calculate this? They're pulling numbers out their ass

[el inco @EpitafioDeSicil]

La NASA mintiendo una vez más. Buena suerte tratando de llegar a la luna de DIA

[sueños de incienso @Juandihilismo]

Si Charles Darwin era tan bueno por qué nunca llevó a la selección natural a un mundial???

[🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿InsideLucysHead🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿© @InsideLucysHead]

There was a businessman whose wife was REALLY into sex...

He was a hardworking guy, and he still managed to satisfy his wife's needs.

One time, he had to leave for another country for a business meeting.

He would be gone for a week.

He knew his wife's sex drive and didn't want to take risks, so he thought he should gift her something so she could satisfy herself and didn't think about searching for a new partner, so he went to an adult toy shop.

As soon as he entered, the first thing he saw was a blow-up doll, but he soon dismissed the thought of buying it since it was almost like another human. He then proceeded to the dildos section.

There he saw all kinds of dildos, from massive to tiny to ones which glow in the dark, but none of them grabbed his interest, so he decided he would go somewhere else and began to leave the shop when he was stopped by the owner sitting behind the cash counter.

"I know what you're looking for", the owner says

This grabbed the businessman's attention, and he stopped to hear what the owner had to say.

"There was a man many years ago who looked just like you, wealthy but tired. He had a wife whom he couldn't satisfy, and she was about to leave him when he came here and got my help. He's happily married since then"

"How exactly did you help him?" asked the businessman.

The cashier bent down and revealed an engraved wooden box from under the counter.

There were all sorts of symbols on the box. He opened it, and inside it was a pink latex dildo, similar to the ones on the shelf.

"This is an ancient artefact haunted by a Maori tribe who all died of sex deprivation when all the women of their village were killed in a plague, all their souls now reside in this dildo", said the owner.

The businessman, being a sceptical guy, laughed and then turned to leave.

The owner says, "You're all the same, thinking there's nothing above this material plane of existence. Watch this."

The businessman turns around.

"Voodoo Dildo, keyhole"

To his astonishment, the businessman saw the box violently shake and the dildo rise in the air, float for a second and hover over to the keyhole in the front door and start to shag it. The dildo shagged the keyhole with such force that the door unhinged and started cracking.

"Voodoo Dildo, box"

The dildo stops shagging the door and returns to the box.

"ILL TAKE IT, cried the businessman, and after a lot of negotiation, he finally purchased the dildo and ran home.

He tells his wife about the dildo and how to use it. "Voodoo Dildo, pussy. That's how you activate it", the businessman told his wife and went on his business trip.

After 3 days of being horny, the wife finally gave in to her urges and opened the wooden box, took out the dildo and uttered "Voodoo Dildo, pussy". The dildo shot from her hands and started shagging her. First slowly and then changing speed as the way she wanted.

After an hour of shagging, the wife thought it was enough, and she grabbed the dildo to turn it off.

But it didn't stop shagging her.

Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to stop the dildo.

She started panicking and called him, but he didn't pick up, so she started to dress up and go to the hospital, all the while the dildo was still shagging her.

She got in her car and started driving.

On the way, she had a huge orgasm, and her car swerved and almost hit another car.

A cop saw this, and she was stopped at the side of the highway.

A cop approached her.

"Ma'am, you almost hit the grey SUV back there. Have you been drinking?"

The wife then proceeds to tell him all about her husband and the voodoo Dildo and that she can't stop it now.

The policeman then says,

"Yeah, right, Voodoo Dildo my ass."

[Nazareno 🍅🍅🍅 @_Naz0__]

Tu amigo que arrancó a fumar en 1er año de secundaria y ya no puede acordarse de qué desayunó hoy acaba de subir esto a la historia

[🇺🇸 🦅Simple Man 🦅🇺🇸 @Soaringeagle45]

A woman is breastfeeding on the bus but struggling to get her baby to eat…

So, she says to her baby
"Eat up now or I'm going to give it to that nice man over there" and points at the man sitting across from her”

10 mins later "You have to eat, or I will give to that man!"

5 mins later "Come on now, I can't waste this milk so you have to eat or I’m giving it to that man"

At this point the gentleman sitting across from her finally says,
"Come on lady, make up your mind, I was supposed to get off 3 stops ago!"